DanMargarita.com

Someone informed me last week that I had to watch Who Wants to be a Millionaire? on ABC-TV. For those who haven't seen it, this is not a sarcastic rhetorical question, but a hot new show that actually gives a number of people (seemingly every night of the week) a chance to achieve financial independence by virtue of answering a number of trivia questions.

Like most game shows, it plays upon the average person's desire to acquire fabulous wealth without having to do much to earn it. I don?t claim to be immune to such temptations. I've certainly played my share of Megabucks tickets.

After all, America at the end of this millennium is more about getting rich than such old fashion notions as ingenuity and hard work. If you don't believe me, take a look at the commercials during daytime talk shows. They are predominantly for personal injury lawyers who shall remain nameless for obvious legal reasons.

Basically, the "Millionaire" goes like this: a contestant answers questions starting at $100 all the way up to one million dollars. The questions begin with ludicrously simple ones like:

People put shoes on their:
A) Feet
B) Elbow
C) Radio
D) Australia

I've not seen anyone miss the $100 question yet, but I'm guessing that if they miss, besides humiliating themselves on national television, they may also have sharp objects taken away from them.

Also, the contestant gets three "lifelines." That is, they may either poll the audience, call someone they know or have two answers removed to make it a 50-50 chance question. Here, they have to hope that the audience hasn't taken a mass dislike of them, that AT & T's wires aren't crossed or that dumb luck is on their side.

It's ironic that such a show would become so popular during this Presidential campaign season when health care reform is being discussed by the candidates who are quick to point out that millions of Americans are without health insurance because they cannot afford it.

It seems to me that these two things could be combined, so I'm proposing a new game show called, "Who Wants to Have Health Insurance?"

Contestants would start out with easy questions with correct answers winning them ace bandages and ice packs. As the game progresses the questions would get more difficult and the prizes would be X-rays or M.R.I.'s. I figure the top prize would be an organ transplant.

Requesting a "lifeline" would take on a whole new significance.

Contestant: Regis, I'm having chest pains and shortness of breath. I'd like to request a lifeline.

Regis: OK, you can poll the audience to see if they know C.P.R., call someone, perhaps 911, or you can go for a 50-50, which means you let it slide and hope you'll be all right.

After all, in the end it really wouldn't matter to Bob from Muncie, Indiana if he was denied vital medical treatment because he didn't have health insurance and couldn't afford it, or because he didn't know that the first movie to win an Oscar for best picture was Wings.

I've contemplated trying to get on this show, but considering the tax bracket that I'd be in and the endless amount of law suits that the wealthy always seem to face, I have to ask myself:

Who wants to be a millionaire?