DanMargarita.com

We've all been through the scene of voting after work, say from 5:30 to 8:00 p.m. I doubt I'm the only one who tries to sneak in without some politician rushing over to shake my hand and saying:

"Todd Garfield. I'm running for the sixth district. I hope you'll consider me."

They're like hockey goalies sliding back and forth across the crease, hoping to stop every puck coming their way.

If I wasn't planning on voting for you, a handshake isn't going to change my position. If I was undecided, my natural inclination is not to vote for you now anyway.

I read the papers and try to keep up with what's going on in the world. I also try to follow what's going on more locally, with such issues as the Big Dig fiasco. However, I have to admit that I'm not as up on some very local issues as I should be, such as Stoneham's Town Common Project, or as I call it "The Little Dig."

Every week on this page are columns by our local legislators. I'm not proud to admit that I hardly ever read them, but it's true. Sorry, guys. Maybe you could pep them up with a little humor. Such as "Two senators are sitting around watching TV. They come across a horse race on one of those channels. The first senator says, 'That nag out in front is a shoo-in to win.' The other senator says, 'That's no nag; that's a philly, buster.'"

Not a great joke, but the best I could come up with on the spur of the moment(sorry).

The choices arent too difficult when someone is running unopposed, but when there are multiple candidates things get murky. Take for example the election for Register of Probate.

The candidates were: Dean Bruno, John Buonomo, Tara DeCristofaro, L. Paul Lucero representing the Italian portion of the ticket, and Melissa Hurley, Thomas Concannon, Francis Flaherty, Robert Weslay Keough and Ed McMahon (I had wondered what he's been doing since The Tonight Show) representing the Irish part of the ticket. Since I am of both Irish and Italian decent, ethnic pride goes out the window as a possible voting guide.

Only Hurley, Bruno and DeCristofaro had background information in the last week's Independent. The rest, I have no idea about. Which is a problem because we are asked to vote for people about whom we know nothing. Not reading my legislators' columns, I have to assume that none of them are in favor of the mandatory torturing of puppies. For all we know, sometimes we could be voting for the next Hitler. I'm sure that at some point in time, someone in Germany was looking at a ballot and saying "Hmmmm....Hitler. Sounds like an interesting name. I'll vote for him."

His career took off after what must go down as the worst college interview of all time.

"I'm sorry Mr. Hitler, but I don't see you fitting in at art school. Have you considered going into politics?"