DanMargarita.com

The first is an ode to the bevy, gaggle, herd (or whatever collective noun is proper) of lawyers that are constantly on TV, litigating for their clients/candidates.

God rest ye merry gentleman
who spend your time in court
You seem to spend more time there
Than a sailor does in port
On TV it's too long so I
Just wait for news reports
Then I'll know just what the hell
you're talking about, talking about
Then I'll know just what the hell
you're talking about
**********************************************
To the tune of Silent Night:

Election night
Messed up night
Not one network
Got it right
Counted on exit polls
Tried to be first
The way things worked out
They couldn't look worse
Live with egg on their face
Live with egg on their face
*****************************************************
Jingle bells, something smells
I think it's Florida
Al Gore you can't win there
With a Bush as Governor (duh)
Jingle Bells, something tells
A simple fact to me
You wouldn't now be in this mess
If you'd won Tennessee

Economy is good
But the voters were not swayed
So Bush heads to D.C.
Laughing all the way
(ha ha ha)

If you were somewhat human
You could've had this thing in hand
But you're about as likable
As a ten pound bag of sand
***************************************************

Stack the courts with your own jurists
Fa la la la la la, la la la
That's the goal of political purists
Fa la la la la la, la la la
Some would act with honest bravery
Fa la la la la, la la la
Some would try to bring back slavery
Fa la la la la, la la la
***************************************************

To the tune of The Little Drummer Boy:

They say Bush is dumb
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb

So how'd he get this far
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb

His grades weren't good in school
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
Failed businesses were the rule
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb

If his name weren't Bush

Dumb dumb dumb dumb

He'd probably drive a truck

Dumb dumb dumb dumb

Born named Bush his good luck

Dumb dumb dumb dumb

How else could he succeed
Dumb dumb dumb dumb
Dumb dumd dumb dumb
Dumb dumb dumb dumb

As of this writing, the election seems to be drawing to a close, but that's not a given by any means. If you'll excuse me now, I've got to go exchange some Election Day presents.