DanMargarita.com

That they are the most influential band in history is evidenced by the fact that they can still make the record charts thirty years after they broke up. Will Limp Bizkit be putting out material thirty years after they disband? Only time will tell, but somehow I doubt it.

Perhaps another measure of success is the number assassination attempts on the members of the group. We are approaching the twentieth anniversary of the murder of John Lennon, which many of us first learned about from broadcaster Howard Cosell, on ABC's Monday Night Football.

It seems that bizarre things happen when Boston/New England teams are involved, so it seemed natural that it was the New England Patriots playing in the game that evening. I'm still convinced that Lennon might be alive today if it had been say, a Cowboys-Packers game.

This past week, former Beatle George Harrison testified in the attempted murder trial of the man who stabbed him last year. Harrison, a long time follower of the "Hare Krishna" Indian sect, stated "I shouted at him 'Hare Krishna! Hare Krishna!'"

Though this has often succeeded in driving people away at airports, this unfortunately proved to be an unsuccessful self-defense strategy against a delusional, psychotic, knife wielding, would-be murderer.

To my knowledge, there have been no major attempts on the lives of the members of The Rolling Stones or The Who. Nobody's ever tried to kill Barry Manillow, though it's often been suggested. Psychiatrists testified that Harrison's attacker thought that he was possessed by Harrison. Mark David Chapman, Lennon's murderer, apparently thought that he was John Lennon, going so far as to emulate Lennon in marrying a Japanese woman. Many people might've questioned his sanity right there since there. Not that marrying a Japanese woman is crazy; it's just that looking to marry another Yoko Ono, the self-described "bitch, who broke up the Beatles" are grounds to question one's sanity.

There seems to be large contingent of people bent on achieving fame and fortune at all costs. John Hinkley attempted to kill President Ronald Reagan in order to impress actress Jodie Foster. Where he got the idea that this would impress her is anybody's guess. I don't read movie fan magazines, but I doubt that there was ever a section about Jodie Foster's likes/dislikes that read:

"TURN ON's: Walks on a moonlit beach, seafood and presidential assassins.

TURN OFF'S: Disco, broccoli, and failed presidential assassins."

Of course I'd like to achieve a certain amount of fame and fortune in this business. How much? Enough fortune that I can go wherever I want, whenever I want and enough fame to get me good tickets to certain events, yet still allow me to go to the supermarket without being hassled.

For those of you out there contemplating killing one of the Beatles because you think you're him, don't, because you're not him. However, you might be Barry Manillow.