DanMargarita.com

I have read about cases of discarded butts bouncing off the highway and into the window of the following car, leading to a fatal fire. It's amazing how in the space of a couple of seconds of watching his still lit cancer stick head in the direction of my vehicle, I was able to envision the ensuing ball of flames that I was certain that my car would become. I was also imagining Liz Walker leading off that evening's news broadcast with the phrase 'Tradgedy on Route 128 this evening...'

You may have already guessed that Im a non-smoker, a fact that came as a big surprise recently to a woman that I work with.

"You don't smoke? You've never smoked!?"

Of course there are two sides to every issue. To be fair, I decided to make comparison lists of the pro?s and con?s of smoking.

Reasons not to smoke:

1. It's very addictive.

2. It's very unhealthy.

3. It makes your clothes reek of cigarette smoke.

4. It's expensive.

OK, now for the other side.

Reasons to smoke:

1.

I guess I'll have to get back to you on that one. The only things that I could come up with were facetious reasons.

"You know Dan, if you start smoking now, by the time you?re fifty you could have emphysema."

When you think about it, smoking is pretty stupid.

That's not to say that people who smoke are stupid. I have a number of friends who smoke and are quite intelligent. The fact is that 90 percent of people who smoke, started before the age of 18. During our teens most of us are pretty stupid, myself included. For me, growing up in a house filled with smoke and having heard so many people say "I wish I never started," or "I wish could quit," the temptation to smoke never existed.

Some kids seem to think that they look cool or mature when they smoke. Even when I was young, I thought that other kids who lit up looked immature in their efforts to look mature.

Most work places ban smoking and so the addicted must step outside to light up. I must admit, they look more than cool. They look downright freezing, particularly in February.

I do envy smokers about one thing. They seem to feel entitled to take "smoke breaks" at work. I think that in fairness, alcoholics should be allowed to take "drink breaks."

"If anybody wants me, I'll be outside having a beer."

Once again, I'm being facetious. I do sympathize with their addiction, but when someone needs a drink as badly as a smoker needs a cigarette, they get sent away to the Betty Ford Center.

This is why I think smokers make ideal soldiers.

Here's my plan. In a combat situation, commanders would confiscate their soldier's cigarettes and drop them behind enemy lines. If you think about it, who would be more willing to leave the comparative safety of a fox hole and charge into enemy machine gun fire? A non-smoker, or someone who needs a cigarette?

A major issue is second hand smoke. Most smokers are considerate about not blowing smoke in your face. If people want to do irreparable harm to themselves, that should be their right. I just don?t want to be a secondary victim of their addiction. Hey, if you want to shoot heroin, go ahead. Just don?t stick me with your needle.

Some towns have banned smoking in restaurants. I have to wonder if smokers leave them saying (sniff) "God my clothes smell like fresh air."

So, light up if you feel inclined. I don't think that I've ever been in a vehicle that didn't have an ashtray, so the next time you dispose of your butt, please use it.

The life you save in the car behind you, may be my own.