DanMargarita.com

The 42nd president, who passed away in 2042, has been accused of leaving an insufficient tip after having dinner at a Bob?s Big Boy in June of 2039.

Representative Bob Barr Jr., who has promised to take up his father's goal of "getting" Clinton, is calling for a full congressional investigation into what is being referred to as "Tipgate." The proceedings could lead to Clinton's fifth impeachment, his fourth since leaving office. His first impeachment after leaving office was as a result of his last minute pardon of billionaire tax evader, Marc Rich. Clinton was acquitted in that case by a slim 51-49 margin, with his then-wife Hillary, a New York senator, voting against him. The Clinton's later divorced, with Hillary marrying Louis Farrakhan and Bill eventually living with an unknown actress, Bambi Caine.

Mr. Clinton was initially impeached during his second term for misleading statements he made, in an attempt to hide an affair he had with an intern, Monica Lewinsky, who later went on to notoriety as the spokeswoman for Preparation H.

The current scandal involves an incident where Clinton was dining at the Fayetteville, Arkansas, Bob's Big Boy, when he left what amounted to an 11 percent tip for his "Super Big Boy Combo."

Clinton said at the time, "The fries were cold. I ate 'em anyway, but I would've preferred to have them hot."

Senator Strom Thurmond, who at 148 years old is the ranking member of the Senate, said to reporters, "Heuy hiba eet no bessy igo noove" which opposition party members dismissed as partisan politics.

Having survived Whitewater, Travelgate, Filegate, the Rich pardon, the Dolly Parton affair, the fig newton scandal, and one disastrous season as a cast member on Friends, Clinton is expected to weather yet another storm.

Clinton's last public appearance was at the dedication of Ronald Reagan's face sculpture, which was added to Mt. Rushmore. Construction on the Reagan sculpture began in 2022, but stopped due to a lack of government funding, caused by the stock market crash of 2029, which began when the flying car boom went bust.

Ironically, funding to complete the Reagan sculpture came from Ali Akmah "Butch" Khomeini, great-grandson of Ayatollah Khomeini. Butch Khomeini wanted to express his family's gratitude for Reagan's selling of weapons to their grandfather in the mid-eighties, which led to the Iran-Contra affair. Also on hand were former president George W. Bush, and his brother, current president Marvin Bush. It was the Bush brother's father, George H.W. Bush who pardoned six people from the Reagan administration that were investigated for their role in the Iran-Contra affair, including defense secretary Caspar Weinberger.

Yesterday, Barr told reporters, "I know it's a long shot, but we're going to try to see that justice is done. He's gotten away with questionable land deals, an illicit affair that he tried to cover up, misplaced files, firing people that work for him, pardoning a tax evader, and now this. If he'd sold weapons to a tyrannical dictator and funneled the profits to fight an illegal war and lied about that, I'd understand."

Hearings are expected to begin next week.