DanMargarita.com

It seems that Paul Sacco, the director of Travel and Tourism opted for the lame "Massachusetts...Make it Yours."

That's $75,000 per word.

This slogan is not only boring, it's not even original. It seems to be little more than a rip-off of the Dukakis-era "Make it in Massachusetts" slogan. They just substituted the word "yours" for the word "in" and rearranged the words a little.

Since all you need to do is rearrange words to make big bucks, I might as well write a soliloquy that says "Not to be, or to be."

If nothing else, it's a good slogan for English classes to practice their conjugations on.

"Massachusetts...Make it yours."
"Massachusetts...Make it mine."
"Massachusetts...Make it ours."
"Massachusetts...Make it theirs."

It sounds like something that a spoiled child might take advantage of.
"OK, Massachusetts is mine. Everybody get out."

Over the summer the Office of Travel and Tourism held a public contest, promising a free weekend vacation to the winning contestants. Among the 400 submissions were:

"Massachusetts: Where Freedom Begins"
"Mass. is Magic" and
"Come Share the Common Wealth"

In my humble opinion, all of these are much better than their final choice. But nooooooooo, they had to go pay a professional $300,000 for the lame "Massachusetts...Make it Yours" slogan.

Here are some alternatives that I'd like to suggest:

"At Least We're Not Rhode Island"
"We Call it Mass. Because We Can't Spell It Either"
"Gateway To New Hampshire"
"Gas Stations Galore"
"None of Us Really Talk Like the Kennedys"
"Land of Political Patronage"

Some states have mottos that have become quite well known, such as:

"Virginia is for Lovers" and
"I Love N.Y."

I can only speculate on some other states.

"Nevada is For Gamblers and Hookers"
"Tennessee is for Drinkers"
"Florida is for Retirees"
"I Sort of Like Pennsylvania"

Of course, state tourism mottos are not to be confused with license plate mottos. Some of the better known of those are:

New Hampshire---"Live Free or Die"
Many others have pointed out the irony of this slogan being on a license plate, since license plates are usually made by prisoners.

Missouri---"Show Me State"
I'm assuming this was dreamed up by a flasher.

North Carolina---"First in Flight"
This refers to the Wright brothers making the first airplane flight at Kitty Hawk, N.C.

Ohio---"Birthplace of Flight"
Hey, wait a minute. Wasn't North Carolina "First in Flight?" They were, but the Wright brothers were born in Ohio and the Buckeye state apparently feels that it has nothing of it's own to brag about, so why not steal another state's motto? You may ask why don't they go with "The Buckeye State?" Because according to my dictionary a buckeye is "a shrub of the horse-chestnut family."

Pennsylvania---"You've Got a Friend in Pennsylvania"
That's good to know when you need bail money at three o'clock in the morning and have just one phone call.

"Hello, operator? Get me someone in Pennsylvania. Anyone. They're all friends of mine."

Well, I don't personally think that this was $300,000 well spent, but if one is getting paid $75,000 per word in this state, my next check from this paper for this column should be for $43.3 million.