DanMargarita.com

The tradition allegedly first began during the Civil War when President Abraham Lincoln, already on an emancipation binge, pardoned a turkey that his son Tad had made a pet.

The event was resurrected in 1947 by Harry Truman, who pardoned a bird that had supposedly been accused of being a communist by Sen. Joseph McCarthy.

As always, two birds were selected with the better behaved one being used for the ceremony. This year's beneficiaries were Zack and Katie, named after the children of the farmer who raised them.

Unfortunately, in the confusion of the ceremony, Bush accidentally condemned the farmer's two children to death.

As for the birds, Katie got the nod, the first ever female turkey to be pardoned, but Bush, who owns a farm in Texas, kept referring to Katie as "he."

When apprised of this by reporters, Bush explained that he was fooled by Katie's "butch" appearance. The fact that the bird was named Katie apparently was not an indication of the bird's gender to Bush.

According to Reuters News Service, Bush actually told reporters "I look forward to having a conversation with Katie."

Bush later returned to the Oval Office where he had an intense conversation with the family cat.

For the ceremony the turkey's handlers dragged the apparently reluctant Katie to the table, while the Presidents handlers dragged the apparently reluctant leader of the free world to the table. Bush warily approached the bird and asked "He looks a little nervous, doesn't he?"

No doubt the bird was thinking the same thing.

By tradition the birds are sent after the ceremony to Kidwell Farms at the appropriately named Frying Pan Park in Virginia. Considering the Presidents propensity for executions as Governor of Texas, perhaps that state would be a more appropriate location for ?Frying? Pan Park.

Due to the War on Terror and The White House being sure to take all security measures, rumors persisted that instead of Kidwell Farm, Katie would be sent to Guntanamo Bay for questioning.

Turkeys tend not to live too long on Kidwell Farm, as Frying Pan Park spokeswoman Judy Peterson told CNN. The turkeys are bred for consumption so are generally too fat and unhealthy to live for long. Peterson also noted that some turkeys "get in with the wrong crowd."

Another cause may be a lack of exercise. It is a generally accepted fact that the amino acid L-tryptophan causes one to be tired after eating turkey, so it stands to reason that turkeys must constantly be tired from being turkeys.

Peterson also told CNN that President Clinton's turkeys tended to be the shortest lived of the pardoned turkeys, although it is believed that some committed suicide after getting tired of being "hit on" by the former chief executive.

The two turkeys that have lived the longest are Liberty and Freedom, both of whom were pardoned by Bush last year and are still living on Kidwell Farm. Both are said to be enjoying retirement, although retirement for a turkey simply means not being eaten.

Hopefully Liberty, Freedom and Katie are lying on a couch somewhere watching football and loosening their belts a couple of notches. It?s about time they saw what it's like on the other side.