DanMargarita.com

Going to Fenway Park these days is a bit of a hassle. Tickets and concessions are expensive, not to mention parking. One good aspect I've noticed is the amount of charity work the Sox, and in fact all Major League teams do. Unfortunately, one of the charities isn't "let the blue collar guy in for five bucks" night.

There's something a little cheesy about some of the promotions that some companies do with the Red Sox. For instance, Hood has a promotion that gives money to children's hospitals throughout New England. I guess that's a good thing. The problem is that they give money when the Sox strike out an opponent, turn a double play or hit a home run. Perhaps I'm being too cynical, but it seems that it's more about promoting Hood than helping sick kids. A child's welfare shouldn't depend on the fortunes of the local ballclub. If you want to give money, give money.

Somehow it feels like they may be withholding medical care if the team's not performing.

"I'm sorry, Johnny. We'd like to save your life, but unfortunately the team is stressing defense this season and we just don't have the money."

The Red Sox wives have done various charity events the past few years. They've collected canned goods, sold recipe books and been willing to accept monetary donations from fans who were content to just donate cash. It's noble of the wives to help out worthy causes but it's all I can do to pay my own bills, so I'm a little hard pressed to give a $20 check to a woman whose husband makes $6 million a year.

One the most famous instances of charity towards a child is that of Babe Ruth and young Johnny Sylvester. As the legend goes, the youngster was gravely ill when Ruth, prompted by a telegram from Johnny's dad, visited the sick child and promised to hit a home run during a World Series game against the St. Louis Cardinals. The Babe delivered and the boy healed. Johnny grew up to become a successful business man. The Babe went on to become a baseball immortal, hitting home runs, thrilling millions and leaving no speakeasy or brothel unturned in the Major Leagues.

If only the Babe's healing power could've been transported through time. It's great if the Babe helped Johnny recover, but imagine how history would've been different if he could've saved the life of someone more important like Abraham Lincoln. Let's go to Washington, D.C. in the year 1865. Across from Ford's Theater, President Lincoln lies gravely wounded in a bed at The Peterson House when in walks the Babe in a camel hair coat and cap with a beer and hot dog in hand.

THE BABE: Hi ya Prez. I hear you ain't feelin' so well.

LINCOLN: Gee Babe, what are you doing here?

THE BABE: I came to cheer you up and give you this autographed ball. Say Prez, do you have a radio?

LINCOLN: No, Babe. It hasn't been invented yet.

THE BABE: Well, how 'bout a telegraph?

LINCOLN: Sure, Babe. It's a swell telegraph.

THE BABE: You listen to the game today on that telegraph. I'm gonna hit one out for you, Prez.

LINCOLN: Oh, the old promise to a sick kid bit, eh? You know how many times I've done that? I promised one sick kid that if he got better, I'd free the slaves. Who knew some doctor would come along with moldy bread and cure him?

THE BABE: "Great Emacipator," my ass. I'm history. See ya.

LINCOLN: Where you going, Babe?

THE BABE: I hear Jefferson Davis isn't feelin' too good.

No matter what someone's motives are, it's good that people are willing to help out those in need. Right now the Sox desperately need help in the bullpen.