DanMargarita.com

Instead, the death of two other notable characters has been making headlines all over the globe lately. Last week the U.S. claimed that it has killed the infamous sons of Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein, Uday and Qusay. Uday (which in Arabic translates to "homicidal maniac) and Qusay ("quieter, homicidal maniac"), like their father, had been in hiding since the U.S. invasion in March.

Uday, the elder brother, is the more notorious of the two. He was in charge of the Iraqi Olympic Committee and was known to torture athletes who performed poorly, giving new meaning to the phrase "the agony of defeat."

He is said to have been the most despised man in Iraq, and two assassination attempts don't exactly dispel that notion. In my opinion, if people are repeatedly trying to kill you, you might want to try and interpret that as a message that you have "personality" issues.

Qusay, the "Billy Ripken" or "Frank Stallone" of the brothers, had numerous duties including being in charge of security forces. Ever the inventive bureaucrat, Qusay found an ingenious way to save taxpayer money when prison overcrowding became an issue by executing prisoners. That kind of makes Kentucky's release of prisoners for the same reason seem a little lame.

One can only wonder what kind of upbringing formed the twisted minds of the Hussein brothers. Their household hardly strikes me as a 1950's idyllic TV sitcom. That would've made an interesting show, however.

Da dum da da-da da dum da dum da da-da-da dum da dum....

"Once again folks it's 'Leave it to Uday.'"

"Boy, Qusay...Dad's gonna holler at you! Then he'll probably have you killed."

You've been getting a lot of information on the duo, but it seems incomplete, thus I've decided to do a little profile. Here now is D & M's Biography: The Hussein Brothers.

Uday Hussein: Hobbies include, torture, murder, rape, blackmail and long walks on the beach.

Qusay Hussein: Hobbies include, blackmail, rape, murder, torture and country line dancing.

Significant events in their life.

1976---During a the seventh inning of a Little League game, Uday, who normally pitches (Little League rules allow six innings per week. Even the Hussein's didn't want to mess with the folks in Williamsport, Pa.) is irate at the child replacing him on the mound when the child walks in the winning run for the other team. Uday has him killed.

1983---Uday goes to his senior prom. His date dances with another boy. Uday has them killed.

1992---A man on the street asks Uday for the time of day. Uday has him killed.

1977---Qusay accidentally kicks a ball through a neighbor's window. Saddam offers to pay for the window before having the neighbor killed.

How many races do you think they lost at the Father-Son school picnics? Not too many, I'd wager. Nor do I doubt that too many other parents complained to Saddam about the coach's son always getting to pitch in Little League.

Uday and Qusay are probably on their way to ELL-HAY, and that's OK with me.