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My saying this is the equivalent of Claude Rains' Capt. Renault character's reaction in the classic movie Casablanca after being ordered to shut down Humphrey Bogart's cafe for gambling.

"Why Rick, I'm shocked! Shocked! There's gambling going on here!" he disingenuously tells Bogart's "Rick."

Then Bogart's croupier proceeds to hand Capt. Renault a fistful of cash.

"Here are your winnings, Capt. Renault."

Without blinking, Rains says "Thank you" and then pockets the cash and walks off.

Madonna has built an entire career on doing one shocking thing after another. Last week at the MTV video awards, the pop diva joined teen pop idols Christina Aguilera and Brittany Spears on stage to perform a rendition of her first hit Like a Virgin. During the song, The Material Girl provocatively planted a kiss on both young women, in a manner that was very un-like a virgin.

The camera immediately switched to a stunned Justin Timberlake, the former beau of Spears, who was either shocked by the moment or titillated.

Aguilera and Spears are both former Mouseketeers, which would've made for an interesting parody if the three of them rushed onstage Mouseketeer style and gleefully introduced themselves.

"Sleazy!"

"Trashy!"

"Horny!"

There really isn't too much further Madonna can go. She produced a book called Sex several years ago, which featured a picture of her hitchhiking in the nude, something that the authorities generally advise against. Unless she performs at one of these MTV gigs in the nude or consummates her marriage on camera, she's got nowhere else to go and frankly, anything she does has become blase.

Where does the line get drawn? At one time the antics of Elvis seemed shocking. Every once in a while the culture gets shocked by something and suddenly Elvis' gyrations seem pretty tame. Twenty years from now will Howard Stern and Marilyn Manson seem tame? What will the bar be then? Live executions during a concert?

As for poor Timberlake, he railed against winning three awards since one of them came at the expense of Johnny Cash, a sentimental crowd favorite, though personally I've always thought he sounded like John Wayne trying to sing.

"This is a travesty! I demand a recount!" said the boy band singer.

"My grandfather raised me on Johnny Cash" added Timberlake (I would've guessed that his grandfather raised him on David Cassidy).

I think Johnny Cash's grandfather raised him on Jack Daniels, which may explain why he sings like John Wayne.

Another highlight of the evening was the band Duran Duran winning a lifetime achievement award. For those unfamiliar with the group, they were an MTV video favorite in the early/mid eighties, which puts their ages somewhere from their early-to-mid forties. I guess this makes them old in the music business, but considering the recent passing of the 100 year old Bob Hope, they still seem like they might have a ways to go. So, this is kind of like Macauley Culkin winning a lifetime achievement award at the Oscar's.

Among the other winners for the night were 50 Cent and Beyonce Knowles. The former I've never heard of, and the latter I only know because she was in the last Austin Powers movie, which means I'm getting old and starting to feel "like a geezer."