DanMargarita.com

Seattle residents recently voted overwhelmingly to defeat an initiative that would've added ten cents to espresso drinks in the city which would fund pre-kindergarten programs. This proved to be quite a kick to Barney the Dinosaur's groin.

"I love you, you hate me, you want your caffeine drinks tax-free."

Seattle has become famous for it's coffee, particularly since the city is responsible for infesting the rest of the world with "Starbucks" franchises. As the city known for it's coffee drinking, one wonders when they ever sleep, giving new meaning to the phrase "Sleepless in Seattle." Capitalism pits markets forces against each other and the competition is supposed give consumers a choice to choose between brands. If you don't want to pay the prices at Starbucks, you can always go across the street to...another Starbucks.

Some Seattleites (Seattletonians?) say that they're not against funding education, they just think adding a tax for espresso drinkers is unfair. "Discrimination" was the charge from some quarters, that those mid-to-upper income types willing to shovel out nearly $4 for a cup of coffee, shouldn't have to shell out $4.10 for a mocha latte even if it means educating a child. This is hardly the kind of discrimination that will necessitate a chorus of "We Shall Overcome." Some locals did protest, though. A group of folks reenacted the Boston Tea Party by dressing up as Colonial Americans and dumping coffee into Green Lake, missing the fact that the Colonists dressed as Indians when they committed that act and were protesting a tax that was already implemented without any input on their part. Hence the phrase "No taxation without representation" which was not the case in Seattle. They had one thing in common with the Colonists, though----the chance to dress up in costume and pollute the water.

Of course, seldom do prices for anything ever go down in this country. When Starbucks raises the price of a large espresso to $4.10 people in Seattle may grumble but will likely pay it---as long as it doesn't go to fund a child's education.

Naturally, the Starbucks corporation funded opposition to the measure. In fact some Starbucks employees and regular customers were probably up all night pacing the floor while working on the campaign against the tax drive. The corporation contributed $50,000 to create an organization called Joined in Opposition to the Latte Tax (JOLT) to fight against the measure. Other potential names for this group included Joined in Undermining Making Payments to Youths (JUMPY) and Not Everyone Really Voices Opposition Unless Stressed (NERVOUS).

The opposition missed an opportunity to create a rival organization such as Really, Everyone Loves A Xenophile Enjoying Decaf (RELAXED). You have no idea how hard it was to come up with a viable "x" word that didn't involve the table of elements.

People who are addicted to coffee tend to be protective of their beverage. They'll climb the highest mountain for a cup of their favorite java and another ten cents to fund education doesn't sound unreasonable to me, but then I'm not the one paying it.

To research this piece I went and got a large Caramel Macchiato at Starbucks for $3.90. It was very good, I must say, but in the long run proved to be irrelevant to anything I had to write here. So now I'm out $6.50 for the latte and a cinnamon scone and I probably won't be able to sleep for two days.

Hopefully the people who voted against a ten cent tax to fund children's education in Seattle will be able to sleep at night.