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October 27, 2003
A Barrel of Laughs
My Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary defines the word "stupid" as "given to unintelligent decisions or acts." New editions may feature a picture of Kirk Jones, the man who intentionally threw himself over the Canadian side of Niagara Falls last week.
The Associated Press reported the story by saying that "A man survived a plunge over Niagara Falls with only the clothes on his back." The article makes no mention of how many people went over naked.
The only previous survivor to go over without a barrel or other contraption of any kind was a 7-year-old boy in 1960 who was wearing a life preserver when thrown overboard from a boat. Exactly what he said to his parents to get himself thrown overboard is unclear.
According to The Daily Beacon (OK, I've never heard of it either), Jones told ABC News that he didn't want to go on living, but authorities believe that it was not a suicide attempt, but a stunt. The fact that X-rays found twenty live goldfish in Jones' stomach added credence to that theory.
Family and friends told ABC that Jones had been considering the jump for years, possibly since the cancellation of "Star Trek." Police are reviewing videotape of the incident shot by a friend of Jones who accompanied him to the falls. Authorities had to fast forward through scenes of Jones dropping water balloons and initiating flatulence conflagrations. Jones is being charged with unlawfully performing a stunt and could be fined $10,000 dollars, about $7,600 American. There's also talk that he could be sentenced to 30 days in jail, three weeks American.
Jones did lose his job recently when his parents had to shut down the family business. The Daily Beacon quotes The Detroit News as quoting Jones' father (got to make sure I give the proper attributions), Raymond Jones, as saying that he had to lay off his son. Jones' mother claims that her husband misinterpreted her when she told him to "lay off the boy." Jones' Niagara Falls stunt stunned his parents who expected him to once again to run away from home and join the circus.
After plunging over the falls, Jones was washed down stream a ways before climbing onto a rock virtually unscathed where he was promptly arrested. Jones later received a congratulatory telegram from fellow daredevil, Wile E. Coyote.
Since 1901 some 17 people, excluding suicide attempts, have plunged over Niagara Falls in a barrel or some other type of contraption. Five of them have died. Here are some of the attempts courtesy of the AP:
Oct. 24, 1901--Annie Edison Taylor goes over in an oak barrel, paving the way for women's rights movement. Many men suggest to their wives that they should also attempt to advance the women's movement.
July 25, 1911--Englishman Bobby Leach goes over in a steel barrel, becoming the first man to accomplish the task. he sends a note to Annie Edison Taylor that reads "Any stupid thing you can do, I can do better. I can do any stupid thing better than you."
July 11, 1920--George Stevens, known as the "English Daredevil" dies in his attempt to ride over the falls in an oak barrel. He's later known as the "English Dead-devil."
July 4, 1928--Jean Lussier, a French Canadian, survives in a steel reinforced rubber ball. Lussier's rubber ball then bounces back to the top of the falls and he goes over again.
July 5, 1930--George Stathakis dies when his oak barrel is caught behind the Horseshoe Falls for 16 hours. Years later a man in Reading, Ma. is killed by his wife when she finds out that he spent 16 hours at the Horseshoe Lounge.
July 15, 1961--William Fitzgerald goes over in a rubber and steel ball he uses for the feat and calls it the "Plunge-O-Sphere." Jean Lussier sues him for copyright infringement and receives the proceeds from the vast sales of Plunge-O-Spheres.
Oct. 5, 1985--Dave Munday goes over in a barrel consisting of a 400 gallon plastic tank surrounded by foam. Munday explains that he performed the stunt because he's never been surrounded by women.
Sept. 28, 1989--Peter DeBernardi and Jeff Petkovich are the first two-person team to go over in a barrel. DeBernardi complains that Petkovich hogs most of the barrel.
June 5, 1990--Jesse "Not Too" Sharp plunges to his death while attempting the stunt in a 12-foot kayak.
Sept. 26, 1993--Using a converted diving bell, Dave Munday becomes the first person to successfully ride over the falls twice. The Munday family begins searching for therapists.
Oct. 1, 1995--Robert "Firecracker" (his real nickname) Overacker (his real last name) dies while trying to go over the falls on a Jet Ski. Mr. Overacker's family explains that he was heavily influenced by Fonzie's water ski jump over a shark on "Happy Days."
Niagara falls has long been known as a place for newly married couples to go on their honeymoon.
There something about Niagara Falls that seems to make people want to plunge to their possible death---or is it something about marriage?
Posted by dmargarita at October 27, 2003 3:14 PM