DanMargarita.com

The conservative talk show host recently admitted that he had an addiction to pain killers after much media speculation that he was under investigation by the authorities. The story was broken by "The National Enquirer," which held the story for two years before publishing it. Now if they'll only release the true story regarding Elvis' whereabouts...

According to the Enquirer (I never thought I'd be saying that), Limbaugh used his housekeeper, Wilma Cline (a name suspiciously similar to Wilhelm Klink), as a go between with his supplier. Limbaugh allegedly would give Cline a cigar box filled with cash and Cline would return with a cigar box filled with pills. If the police hadn't caught onto him, his connection would probably have eventually been derailed when Florida becomes a non-smoking state.

The irony is that Mr. Limbaugh and his conservative cohorts want America to live a kind of "Brady Bunch" kind of life, but Alice the maid never had to score downers for Mike Brady.

I don't wish Mr. Limbaugh ill, although I don't personally agree with him or like him for that matter. There are people I like but disagree with politically, and there are people that I agree with politically but dislike. I neither like nor agree with Rush Limbaugh.

Sadly, his racist, homophobic, mean-spirited and hate-filled rantings have made him enormously popular, not to mention extremely wealthy. Here are just a few of Limbaugh's quotes:

Speculating on why a Mexican national won the New York marathon: "An immigration agent chased him for the last 10 miles."

"When a gay person turns his back on you, it is anything but an insult; it's an invitation."

"Feminism was established to allow unattractive women easier access to the media."

"One of the things I want to do before I die is conduct the Homeless Olympics...[Events would include] the 10-meter Shopping Cart Relay, the Dumpster Dig, and the Hop, Skip and Trip."

What makes his drug addiction confession so hypocritical is the fact that in the past he has advocated on his radio show that white people who use drugs "ought to be sent up." Still believe in that, Rush?

Limbaugh is getting support from his brethren. Conservative moralist Gary Bauer, best remembered for his run for president...OK, he's best remembered for falling backwards off a stage during a pancake flip-off while running for president, spoke out on Limbaugh's behalf.

Bauer claimed that there's a difference "between people who go out and seek a high and get addicted and the millions of Americans dealing with pain who inadvertently get addicted." Then there are people who send their maid out to get them a high. I guess emotional pain doesn't count in Bauer's book.

It's been a tough stretch for Rush. His drug addiction admission comes on the heels of his resignation as a football analyst commentator for ESPN after stating on the air that Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb was not as good as the media perceived because "the media has been very desirous to see a black quarterback do well."

Come on, Rush. Couldn't you have just said he was overrated?

What were you smoking?