DanMargarita.com

A week after a gorilla named Little Joe escaped from the Franklin Park Zoo, the bizarre story of this past week involved a New York City man, Antoine Yates, who went to the hospital with what he claimed were bites from his pit bull. Doctors at Harlem Hospital, apparently trained to know the difference between a dog bite and a tiger bite (I believe that's covered in the third year of med school), became suspicious and called the police. Mr. Yates, possibly assuming that the doctors in Philadelphia aren't as well trained and are unfamiliar with large cat bites, checked himself out of Harlem Hospital and fled to Philly's University of Pennsylvania Medical Center. Police arrived at Mr. Yates' apartment and discovered not only a Bengal tiger, but a caiman, a type of alligator, residing there. Tigers and 'gators and apes, oh my!

Mr. Yates was arrested in Philadelphia and as of this writing has yet to explain publicly why he feels that he needs a tiger and an alligator in his apartment. Granted, many people living in the city feel they need a guard dog for security, but I think Mr. Yates took it a little overboard. On the other hand, I seriously doubt that his apartment has EVER been robbed.

The tiger was apparently in good condition, having been fed a steady diet of rats. Perhaps that is Mr. Yates' reason for the presence of the beast---pest control.

According to a New York Times story, a neighbor had "complained of large amounts of urine and a strong smell coming through the ceiling." Perhaps the neighbor thought Mr. Yates merely had an embarrassing bladder condition. I guess they don't make "Depends" for tigers, but even if they did, who's going to try to put them on him?

I doubt that Yates' apartment was all that spacious, and even a large apartment is probably not as roomy as the worst zoo enclave. So how did the tiger get his exercise? I mean, other than mauling his keeper?

Mr. Yates probably didn't take him out for a walk in Central Park (certainly not without a very large "pooper scooper").Granted, New Yorkers have seen a lot of stuff, but even in Gotham City the sight of a man walking a tiger would probably draw some attention.

The tiger was tranquillized and removed from Yates' apartment along with the alligator and hopefully a bag of "Tiger Chow." The cat is currently being held at the Center for Animal Care and Control and will be sent to a conservancy somewhere in Ohio. Since it's a Bengal tiger, the conservancy is probably in Cincinnati.

One can understand why someone would have a tiger if that is part of their profession.

Roy Horn, one half of the legendary illusionist act Siegfried & Roy, was attacked by one of his pet white tigers last week. I'm sure the thoughts and prayers of all the residents of Margaritaville are with Mr. Horn who, along with Siegfried have helped preserve the exotic white tiger in his natural habitat...Las Vegas.

No one knows what set the animal off. Perhaps being forced to sit in a chair at the crack of a whip didn't appeal to him at that moment, although it's always worked on me. To be fair, Siegfried & Roy have helped breed the rare animals and preserve them in a sanctuary where viewing them didn't require a two-drink minimum.

Simply put, wild animals weren't meant to be house pets. I could understand someone's fascination with the tigers because they're beautiful animals, or in the words of Tony the Tiger, "They're Grrrreat!"