DanMargarita.com

Recent news reports state that for the first time in at least 35 years, Massachusetts is spending more on jails and prisons than on public higher education. This leaves one of two possibilities: reporters were too lazy to look back more than 35 years, or that 36 years ago, spending more on prisons than higher education was Massachusetts' policy.

According to a report in The Boston Globe, higher education appropriations were cut 29 percent between 1988 and 1992 and 27 percent between 2001and 2004 for an aggregate total of 56 percent. All of which proves that my lower education in English and basic arithmetic were sufficient to read that article.

This year's state budget included $830 million in funding for prisons and jails and "only" $816 million for schools. Perhaps the cost of barbed wire has gone up, while the cost of textbooks has decreased. I wish they'd give me "only" one percent of that.

We live in an era of constant budget cuts to education. It seems to me that public officials are missing a chance to save money in both the corrections and education areas. Several hundred million could be lopped off the state budget by combining the two programs. My idea is simple---let's send college students to prison.

Men leaving prison often have a hard time adjusting to society and getting a job. That's because they re-enter society with unusable job skills. What are prisoners best known for making in prison? License plates. A recent scan of the help wanted section of the paper tells me that license plate makers are not in great demand.

If prisoners can become teachers they would probably have a much better chance at obtaining employment upon their release. White collar, corporate criminals could teach mathematics and business classes. Repeat offenders could possibly teach law courses, having had multiple experiences with the legal system. Some offenders could teach science courses using their knowledge of chemicals.

If they are not capable of teaching those courses, they can teach kids more street savvy and useful things like how to make a spoon into a "shank," how to carve a gun out of a bar of soap and how to smuggle contraband in various orifices.

As for the students, well, you remember college. Society may be safer with them off the streets. Incidents of "cow tipping" alone would be radically reduced. Giant mascots and logos would be safe from kidnapping and a prison would probably not have to worry about a crowd tearing down the football goalposts.

Speaking of football, athletics could continue to be important. After all, has anyone seen "The Longest Yard?"

It's a sad commentary on our society that prison spending should be higher than education spending. Without any data in front of me, I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that the bulk of people in prison tend to be less educated. If less quality education is available, the disparity between the two budgets will probably continue to grow.

The only bright side of this is that if the economy continues to grow and car sales improve there'll be more of a need for license plates.