DanMargarita.com

No doubt that you've heard by now that our own Bay State Senator John Kerry came in first place. This came as a surprise to many, especially Kerry, whose degree in Personality was earned from the "Mike Dukakis School of Wit and Charm." Kerry continues to attack the Bush Administration for the Iraq War, which Kerry had voted in favor of. Kerry either lacked the guts or the foresight to vote against the war, both of which are disturbing possibilities for a presidential contender. Like so many Democrats, he was likely in fear of being called unpatriotic by the Republicans, which they made a point of doing to anybody who disagreed with them. Sadly, this also included Max Cleland, a Vietnam vet who lost three limbs in that conflict and was pictured alongside Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein in an opponent's campaign ad. When popular sentiment began going against the war (at least with Democrats), Kerry began his opposition to the war. In my Webster's Ninth Collegiate Dictionary, the word "opposition" is on the same page as "opportunism."

In second place came Senator John Edwards of North Carolina with 32 percent of the vote. Edwards toughest task will be proving that just because he's a lawyer it doesn't make him a bad guy, since many people in this country hate lawyers. Edwards is fifty years old, but looks like he's in high school which may pose an additional problem. A pumped up Edwards took the stage late last night and gave a rousing speech, sounding like a confident football coach firing up the troops.

Of course, there's a difference between pumping up the troops and sounding like a madman, which is what Howard Dean wound up doing. Seemingly a shoo-in a few weeks ago, the former Vermont governor finished a surprising and distant third with just 18 percent of the vote. Then, with perhaps a full moon in the sky, in an attempt to rally his supporters, Dean launched into a tirade that was punctuated with a blood-curdling scream, reminiscent of Dracula's insane sidekick Renfield. I half expected Dean to start catching flies and eating them. Though Dean likely scared off a lot of potential supporters with that performance, he may have done wonders to support mental health groups.

It was sad to watch Dean's mental breakdown on national TV, but it was even more sad to watch Dick Gephardt's presidential ambitions fade. By all accounts, Gephardt is an honest and decent man, meaning there's absolutely no place for him in Washington, D.C. The last honest and decent man we elected president was Jimmy Carter. We all know how that turned out. Before I get flack from Reagan supporters, let's remember that he and his successor, George H.W. Bush were neck-deep in the Iran-Contra scandal. I don't even need to detail Bill Clinton's peccadilloes.

Gephardt's situation points out a big problem with our election system. The states that have the first caucuses and primaries get to determine who our candidates are before much of the country has a say. There are 49 more states yet to cast a ballot, but after a poor showing in one he's done? For Gephardt it's like coming up to home plate, taking a strike and being called out.

As bad as Gephardt must have felt, he still did better than Dennis Kucinich. The Democratic Representative from Ohio managed just 1 percent of the vote. Kucinich thanked his voter (personally) before moving on to New Hampshire.

Kucinich's 1 percent was twice the amount that the Rev. Al Sharpton got. Unfortunately for Sharpton, the first two voting events take place in Iowa and New Hampshire, two of the whitest states in the union. When Sharpton and Carol Moseley-Braun entered Iowa, they virtually doubled its minority population. Sharpton can take consolation in the fact that he finished a strong second in the Washington, D.C. primary. Well, he could if that primary counted.

Moseley-Braun dropped out of the race one day after appearing on "The Daily Show" on Comedy Central where she explained why she'd win in Iowa. The few times she got any media coverage she seemed to answer questions directly and make sense. We'll have none of that.

So now it's on to New Hampshire where our neighbors to the north will have the next shot at determining our future.

"Is this political hell?"

"No, it's New Hampshire."