DanMargarita.com

Kerrigan was inducted for her stellar skating career which included two Olympic medals, a bronze and a silver (though she deserved a gold on that one) and not for the bizarre circumstance of being clubbed in the knee by agents of her archrival Tonya Harding. However, that incident did get Ms. Harding & Co. a first ballot ticket to the Hall of Shame. The kind of bust that they received was not one you'd put on your mantle.

The incident did give Ms. Kerrigan a higher profile than she might normally would have achieved otherwise, as evidenced by her guest hosting of Saturday Night Live, a feat not attained by such Olympic gold medallists as Kristi Yamaguchi and Sarah Hughes. Actor John Goodman has hosted the show twelve times, leaving me to wonder just how many times he was clubbed in the knee.

Upon hosting SNL, Ms. Kerrigan became the first Stonehamite ever to do so, an honor which, I admit, I thought I might achieve someday when I first began doing stand up comedy. The closest I ever came was working on a Saturday night.

I decided to get into comedy when I saw Eddie Murphy doing stand up on TV and thought "This kid's my age making that kind of money? I can do that." Obviously, while our ages have paralleled, our careers took very different trajectories. It seems that to achieve his level of success involves a certain amount of drive and talent, two qualities that I apparently didn't possess a sufficient quantity of.

Americans are obsessed with fame. People are all too willing to go on TV and degrade themselves for a chance in the spotlight. You can't turn on the tube without witnessing someone willing to marry a stranger who is a millionaire, marry a stranger who isn't really millionaire or see someone who is willing to eat bugs.

Some people have found other ways to achieve fame. Here are some other paths to celebrity:

1. Sleep with someone famous---The most fun route to unwarranted fame, this worked for White House intern Monica Lewinsky. She may be able to type 90 words a minute, but that's not what made her a celebrity. Her one discernable skill that made her famous isn't really transferable to another job. I doubt she's put that in her resume. Carlos Leon went from a fitness trainer to "The guy who fathered Madonna's baby." Unknown fitness trainers don't find themselves on the cover of "People."

2. Cause an international incident---In 1987 a 19-year-old named Mathias Rust shocked the world by flying a Cessna plane undetected from his native Germany into Russia, landing in Red Square, no less. A year later on a trip to Russia, I considered causing an international incident as well. When I was pulled into a small room and frisked by soldiers and saw holstered pistols lying on a table, I thought better of it. Might've gotten me a Tonight Show gig, though (when I eventually got out).

3. Shoot a celebrity---Would anyone remember John Wilkes Booth for his stellar rendition of Hamlet? I doubt it. More recently, John Hinckley and Mark David Chapman gained notoriety (and infamy) in this manner. While Chapman remains locked up, Hinckley has recently been given permission to take unsupervised overnight trips. Let's hope he doesn't decide to become a Big Brother.

4. Be the progeny of a celebrity---This is a road to fame that no one has any say in. Lisa Marie Presley, Julian Lennon and Jack Osbourne all were born into famous families. Lisa Marie also had the bright idea to marry Michael Jackson. Your own fault on that one, Lis.

Most of us aren't willing to humiliate ourselves to become famous. As for me, I'll just continue to live "The Simple Life."