DanMargarita.com

ZURICH (AP)---At 12:30 p.m. local time, Terror formally surrendered in Zurich, Switzerland. Representatives of the U.S. Government and Terror met and signed official documents formally ending the war.

Representing the U.S. was Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Admiral Crunch, while representing Terror were Freddy Krueger, Jason from "Friday the 13th and their Goodwill Ambassador Casper the Friendly Ghost.

The day proved to be a career highlight for Crunch whose inability to rise above the rank of Captain for many years had become an embarrassment to the U.S. Navy.

The U.S. government's victory over Terror should prove to be a big morale boost for the nation, which has suffered through long-running, unsuccessful campaigns against Poverty and Drugs.

People celebrated wildly in the streets of cities and towns all across America. One sailor re-enacted a famous World War II photograph by bending over and kissing a nurse. However, the photo was taken in Boston where the sailor kissed a male nurse whom he later married.

The cease-fire agreement comes after months of negotiations between the United States and Terror. The deal was hung-up largely on Terror's insistence that America be at least a little bit nervous in the future. The Americans steadfastly refused by rolling out their chief negotiators, Faith and Courage.

Security was tight with the Swiss Army heavily equipped with their biggest knives that included corkscrews, bottle openers, scissor, tweezers and toothpicks.

In a spirit of goodwill, the U.S. and Terror discussed cultural exchanges to promote harmony between the two sides. The U.S. will send its ping-pong team and in return Terror will send spine-tingling sensations.

The war began in response to the attacks on September 11, 2001. President George W. Bush declared a "War on Terror" after considering declaring war on Horror, Fear, Pessimism and strangely enough, egg plant. Bush has on occasion incorrectly referred to the conflict as a "War on Terrorism," which was not surprising considering Bush's long-standing "War on Grammar."

Terror, whose slogan "Boo!" has long inspired fear, has given many television interviews, most notably a recent interview on "60 Minutes" with Morley Safer in which Terror said "We shall see the Americans in hell! And we'll get better seats since we've got connections there!"

With the end of the war and the surrender of Terror, there has been much speculation that Terror will be sent to The Hague to stand trial for "Crimes against Humanity."

Terror has reportedly already contacted noted defense attorney Alan Dershcowitz.

Considering the extent of rising global tensions, availability of nuclear weapons and the increasing spread of religious fanaticism, Humanity's Judgment Day might come sooner than expected.