DanMargarita.com

It seems that you can't do a run through your cable TV channels without passing a show where somebody is trying to find a life partner that they'll select from a group of complete strangers. So why stop at finding a mate? Why not build an entire family while simultaneously getting strong Neilson ratings?

Each year couples spend tens of thousands of dollars on fertility treatments in an effort to start a family. A cheaper option might be to get drunk and go to a prom (hey, it worked for a few girls in my high school). These efforts are not always successful and these couples must find other means.

Adoption is another alternative. For a while Korean children were in, but now Chinese kids seem to be all the rage. They do have a billion people over there and can more easily spare a few of the smaller ones. It's a long, grueling and expensive trip to China that prospective parents must make. Hopefully the Chinese will one day allow foreigners "take out service" by sending the kids along in little white cardboard boxes with wire handles.

Older children need homes too, and they are more difficult to place so why not make it more enticing for someone to adopt an older child?

I figure that it's probably just a matter of time before adoption gets turned into a reality show, so here's my take on how it might go.

Each week a couple will choose a child from a group of children in need of a home. Of course part of the excitement of reality shows is seeing the heartbreak of the losers. What could be more riveting than watching a child's dream of finding a loving home and security be crushed?

A minivan pulls up and out come three children who will be paraded in front of the hopeful couple. The host will introduce each kid.

"Jimmy is ten years old. His parents died in a fire that Jimmy started. His hobbies include, drawing, painting and starting fires. Danielle was taken away from her mother, a convicted prostitute, when she took Danielle for 'take your daughter to work day.' Joey was left on the doorstep of the orphanage when he was a baby. The only note pinned to the blanket read 'Machine wash warm, tumble dry.'"

The parents will spend a day with each child and then will rate each experience.

"We took Jimmy out for dinner" says the mom.

"It was going great until the chef came out with a flaming dish. Jimmy went wild. We wanted to take Danielle to the zoo, but all she wanted to do was hang out on the street corner. Joey was a dream. We went to a baseball game. The only trouble was that we couldn't buy anything because I somehow lost my wallet."

The couple will vote and tears of joy will stream down the cheeks of the winners while the losers will weep at their continued misfortune.

If that's not entertainment, I don't know what is.

America's fascination with reality shows seems to know no boundaries when it comes to subject matter or taste. Therefore we may one day see such shows as:

"Starvation Island"

"Who Wants to Have a Liver Transplant?"

"Xtreme Debt Collection" and

"The Cloning Game"

The ironic thing about reality TV is that seems that we'd rather watch that than be bothered with interacting with other human beings.

No kidding.