DanMargarita.com

The two made news awhile back when they were arrested by Whitman police for skateboarding on the mean streets of Whitman.

The Boston Herald reported the two were taken to Brockton Juvenile Court, shackled hand and foot, and ordered to perform community service, which will probably be a lot easier to do without the shackles. If I recall correctly, it was a similarly minor offense that got Paul Newman's character in trouble in the movie Cool Hand Luke.

I can hear the voice of Whitman Police Chief John Schnyer now:

"You skate one time, you get one set of chains. You skate two times, you get two set of chains. You won?t need no third set of chains. You skate one mo' time, we gonna kill ya'."

According to the Herald, Whitman town bylaws prohibit "using skateboards or other devices to 'coast or slide' along public streets." Technically, if your car skids on ice in the winter, or if you slip on some ice, you could be arrested in Whitman with your car and your shoes being the devices you used to coast or slide.

This isn't the only controversy Chief Schnyer has been involved with. The Herald reports that Schnyer is "under fire for renting a home to a convicted sex offender." As long as the sex offender doesn't skateboard in front of the house, he should be OK.

Schnyer is also in trouble for "improperly placing a lottery-won low-number license plate on his unmarked police cruiser."

I assume that means that he shouldn't have been using a low number on his vehicle and not that he?s in trouble for using a Phillips head screw instead of a regular one.

The paper goes on to say that "town officials said they have had numerous incidents involving skateboarders jumping off library steps, weaving through traffic and creating other disturbances" which can certainly be a nuisance and a safety hazard and should be dealt with.

One has to wonder if there's a better way to handle it without arresting a 12 year old. I don?t recall anyone on my Little League team having a prison record.

"Coach, Bobby can't pitch today. He's got to go see his parole officer."

Still, while being in jail probably gives these kids ?street cred? in Whitman, they were probably at the bottom of the food chain in jail.

"What are you in for?"

"Murder?

"Rape"

"Arson"

"Burglary"

"Skateboarding."

With the voluminous number of crime shows on TV and their voracious appetite for material, this may wind as a plot on one of these shows.

"Next on CSI:"

"This looks like another one of those skateboarding gangs. Let's check for tire prints."

Oh yeah, I forgot. This was already a plot on the Andy Griffith Show (albeit, with a bike).

So if you plan on driving through Whitman, leave your skateboard at home and be sure to lock your car doors.

Originally published in The Stoneham Sun.