DanMargarita.com

WASHINGTON (AP) --- President Bush's war on terror continued today when an Air National Guard F-16 strafed a New Jersey school believed to be a breeding ground for future terrorists.

In what White House officials are labeling as a "pre-emptive strike," an F-16 from the 113th Wing of the District of Columbia Air National Guard, based at Andrews Air Force Base in Maryland, attacked the Little Egg Harbor Township Intermediate School last Wednesday evening.

Trouble has been brewing at the school for some time since the rebels banded together and refused to go to sleep during "naptime."

Though not considered a serious act in itself, White House officials fear that the insubordination may lead to anti-American behavior and are determined to stop the rebels from mounting an aggressive campaign.

The FBI has been monitoring the actions of rebel leader Timmy Wilson for some time and the White House feels that under the Bush Doctrine of preemptory strikes, the administration is justified in stopping actions that may eventually happen.

"We believe that Timmy Wilson will become a terrorist" one unnamed White House official said, adding "We think he looks French."

A spokesman for the rebel leader said "I have to go pee-pee."

The administration and its supporters have been quietly mounting a negative p.r. campaign against Wilson for months.

One group of former preschool students from Wilson's class calling themselves the "Tricycle Veteran's for Truth" released a statement saying that Wilson was less-than-honorably discharged from the Cub Scouts.

"His claims to have achieved perfection in toilet training are completely false. I was there and I distinctly remember him wetting himself" said Tricycle Veteran spokesman Jason Mitchell.

Attorney General John Ashcroft noted that under the Patriot Act, FBI agents discovered that Wilson is known to have checked out such subversive books as "Little Red Riding Hood" and "The Little Engine That Could" from the Wee Winky Children's Library.

Months of strategic planning went into the attack and one commander was said to have pronounced after the attack "Wilson, you magnificent bastard. I read your coloring book!"

Carl Cameron of Fox News, who is embedded with the District of Columbia Air National Guard, announced "Yippeeeee!"

After the strafing, ground troops were sent in and after an hour Wilson was found hiding in a "spider hole."

Wilson claimed to be hiding there because people were shooting at him. The rebel leader is expected to be sent to Guantanamo Bay where he will be questioned.

Under relaxed wartime rules, Wilson can be questioned without the benefit of a lawyer and may be kept awake for several hours at a time and will not be allowed to watch SongeBob SquarePants at any time.

No official statements have been made by Wilson but he is reportedly said to have stated "I want my mommy!"