DanMargarita.com

A recent wave of news stories include that of a 24-year-old Florida teacher, Debra Lefave, who allegedly engaged in carnal relations with her 14-year-old student on several occasions, including twice in the back seat of her SUV while the boy?s 15-year-old cousin drove. I can see the porn-parody names already?Driving Miss Crazy, Cannonballs Run and The Amazing Grace. No mention was made of whether the 15-year-old was given a ticket for driving without a permit, although technically there was a licensed driver in the car.

Ms. Lefave taught reading in the Hillsborough County school system for two years. My junior high reading list included April Morning by Howard Fast. The eighth grade might've been more memorable if that list had included Erica Jong's Fear of Flying.

In Tennessee, 27-year-old Pamela Turner, who taught physical education (and then some), was accused of having sex with a 13-year-old student. While the idea of two very attractive, young female teachers seducing students may be a teenage boy's fantasy, if it was a male teacher and female student, there would be well-deserved outrage. As it is, it's being treated like a sit-com premise.

Of course, the most notorious case involving a teacher committing statutory rape was that of Mary Kay Letourneau, who was jailed for having sex with her 12-year-old student Vili Fualaau, with whom she eventually had two children. The couple made the news again recently when it was revealed that the 43-year-old Letourneau and the now 22-year-old Fualaau registered for their upcoming April nuptials with Macy's, and perhaps Toys 'R Us.

Half of all marriages end in divorce these days, with money being the cause of most marriages dissolving, but this couple may face other obstacles like the fact that he is just passing his sexual peak while she is approaching menopause.

Two people that I feel sorry for in all of this are Letourneau's parents, who must be mortified by this turn of events. Most parents would proudly put an announcement of the upcoming marriage of their daughter in the paper, but somehow I don?t think that this was an announcement that they looked forward to writing. If they had to do it though, I imagine it would've included a lot of sarcasm and gone something like this:

The parents of Mary Kay Letourneau, who wish to remain anonymous, are embarrassed to announce the impending marriage of their daughter to Vili Fualaau on April 16, 2005.

Mr. Fualaau has selected Bobby Wilson, former captain of his Little League team, as his "Best Dude." Ms. Letourneau's Matron of Honor will be Debbie Sue Crapo, who was at one time Mr. Fualaau's baby-sitter.

When I think of the episode of Leave it to Beaver where the Cleavers invite Beaver's teacher Miss Landers over to dinner, I can't reconcile the kid who was stunned to see his teacher's toes with the image of Miss Landers pouncing on the Beaver in the backseat of her DeSoto.