DanMargarita.com

Flying out of Manchester Airport, I arrived in Orlando to the joy of warm weather, Okay, so it was 45 degrees when I left home but two days earlier it was 5 degrees. That’s New England for you.

Sun. Mar. 11---I printed out the daily games schedule before I left home, but have misplaced it. Fortunately, my trusty memory told me that the Astros were playing in Kissimmee and the Braves at their facility at Disney in Orlando. They’re both close but Braves tickets are always tougher to get and I like the Kissimmee ballpark better, so I head there. As I arrive, I notice that no attendants are collecting parking money and there are few cars. I see a man, clearly a fan, in an Astros T-shirt and cap and ask if there’s a game.

“No. I thought there was” he said with a Southern twang.

“I’ve been having problems with the Internet. I swore there was a game here. There was an intra-squad scrimmage with some of the regulars like Oswalt and Ausmus. Roger Clemens was throwing batting practice to the minor leaguers” he added.

He also told me that Hall of Famer Nolan Ryan was signing autographs but all of the excitement was over now. So, not only is there no game here, but I’ve missed all of that.

I figure that I’ve still got time to get to see the Braves game at Disney, but before I can mention it, he tells me that the Braves aren’t playing at home either. With a full day ahead of me and no other game nearby, I can only come to one conclusion…I’m going to Disney World!

I’d never been and my baseball aficionado friends Jim and Rick haven’t arrived yet, so it seems to be the best time to go.

There are four theme parks at Disney and I opt for the full package for $120, foolishly thinking that since I’ve got all day, I can get to all of them. I’ve heard so much about Epcot that it seems the logical place to start. Besides, I’ve always wanted to know what was inside that giant golf ball.

The first stop at Epcot is Spaceship Earth. Most people recognize the giant golf ball-like structure, which is in fact, a ride through the history of communication by man. Somewhere amongst the hunter-gatherer animatrons, the ride stops briefly, but soon resumes with the story of the development of language and writing, leading to movies, television and the Internet. It’s hard to believe that the caveman drawing on a cave wall eventually led to Viagra email spam and infomercials.

There are plenty of exhibits to see, but with the intention making it to all four parks, I skip any that involve video presentations because after a New England winter, I don’t want to spend 30-45 minutes in a darkened theater when it’s 80 degrees outside.

Feeling a bit hungry or “peckish” as the British say, I opt for cuisine somewhere in the World Pavilion. This is on the other side of a big pond for which you can either wait for a ferry to cross or walk around it.

Several countries are represented and the buildings are fashioned in the architectural style of the country represented. Walking through the Pavilion one can briefly imagine being in a foreign land if only every building in every country in the world just sold souvenirs.

Each land has a restaurant featuring the local cuisine and the employees all wear name tags which tell from what city in their country of origin they’re from. I first approach the French restaurant but before I can inquire about a table am told by the maitre‘d “I’m sorry. We only take reservations.”

I was almost tempted to help the German Pavilion take them over.

Not keen on sauerkraut or raw fish, I settle on the Italian restaurant where I get the best ziti and marinara sauce dinner I’ve ever had. I don’t know that I’d pay $120 plus the meal cost again for it, but it was damn good.

I thought it would be fun to call my sister from an authentic British phone booth, but like in the UK, the Florida ones aren’t air conditioned and the midday sun has made it a British sauna. The handicap-accessible phone is only a slight improvement as the hot Florida sun nearly caused the ear piece to melt the flesh off of my ear. Speaking of the British, the employees in each “country” wear clothing that is supposedly that of the natives. Yet I can’t help but point out to the British man wearing the collarless button up shirt and knickers, that I’ve been to the U.K. and that nobody wears that.

“I know” he says ruefully.

With time a pressing matter, I take the shuttle to the MGM Studio Park. The architecture of the buildings there is that of Hollywood of the 1920’s and 30’s. Old-fashioned restaurants featuring All-American type food (burgers, hot dogs, etc.), particularly 1950’s, seem to be a favorite.

The first stop is a large water tank where a partial PT boat sits among water cannons, flame throwers and pipes that recreate machine gun fire. Due to technical difficulties, nobody gets doused as a volunteer as would normally happen. That wouldn’t be such a bad thing on a hot day.

The Disney-MGM Backlot tour is a popular one which provides a tram ride past a stunt driver’s show where professionals are doing spin-outs in an enclosed track. It then proceeds past costume workshops, set designing workshops and artifacts from several movies, most of which I’ve never seen.

The last stop is a city street scene, mainly representing New York City, if the painted backdrop of the Empire State Building is to be believed. There are no mugging reenactments.

Then I decide to give the famous Tower of Terror a try. Seeing as we are currently fighting a war on terror, it almost seems unpatriotic to be paying money to experience it. A machine out front dispenses “fast pass” cards, allowing holders to get in a line that goes ahead of the other line. An employee out front says that at this time of day, it usually takes longer in the fast pass lane. At first glance, that appears to be true as the fast pass line is backed up quite a ways. Thinking I’ve made the smart move, the day slowly evolves into evening and at a certain point I realize that the fast pass holders are whizzing past me in the other line. I contemplate jumping out of line and getting a fast pass, but that seems like tempting fate. I know that as soon as I do, the other line will move much more quickly. As the line slowly progresses, I get some entertainment from the young brother and sister behind me as they beat the crap out each other. The parents do nothing, leading to believe that they’re either oblivious to it or getting as much enjoyment out of it as I am.

The Tower is built as an old, once grand hotel with cobwebs galore. Groups of about 10-12 get strapped into seats that rise about four floors. Doors open up to the outside and then suddenly, the elevator drops like a cable had been cut. The procedure gets repeated a few times and after a 50 minute wait, the three minute ride is done.

After getting the shuttle back to Epcot to get my car, the day ends as all Florida days end, searching for a motel room. Knowing that I have to pick up Rick in Tampa in the morning, I head that way and decide to stop in Haines City, where I have good memories from covering the Kansas City Royals and Stoneham native Joe Vitiello, once a member of the team. The team has moved their facilities to Arizona and the ballpark has been razed, however.

After getting a cheap room, I walk next door to the Bob Evans restaurant. It’s a little before 10:00 and as I enter I see that they close at 10:00. I ask if they’re still serving and the host says “Yes.” I contemplate leaving hungry rather then get a meal cooked by an unhappy chef who was ready to leave for the night and might contaminate a last-minute dinner with a foreign substance.

Then it’s time for a good night’s sleep. Spring Training starts for me tomorrow.