DanMargarita.com

Kazuhiko Minawa figured out a process to harness the electricity of an eel to light up a Christmas Tree.

"If we could gather all electric eels from all around the world, we would be able to light up an unimaginably giant Christmas tree" Minawa told Reuters TV.

Yes, considering the energy crisis we currently face, this is where our energy resources should go. I’ve seen enough sci-fi/horror films to know that getting all of the world’s eels together could only lead to one thing---the overthrow of mankind and world eel domination.

Eel power would make for some interesting conversations around the house during a blackout.

“We lost power again. Honey, can you go downstairs and replace the burned-out eel?”

On the bright side, should we be able to use eels for our main source of power, with the easy availability of eels it’s much likely that we’ll have to worry about facing a foreign “eel embargo.” Was that too far to go for a bad pun?

As strange as that may seem, there was even more animal weirdness when several news outlets reported that South Korean scientists have cloned cats that glow in the dark when exposed to ultraviolet rays. It’s just another thing for CSI investigators to look for at a crime scene; DNA and lost kittens.

The Associated Press quotes geneticist Keitaro Kato (Not now, Kato!) whom they say has cloned fish (but not loaves) as saying that “the research could be significant if it eventually helps treat people.”

I guess I’ve missed the fundraisers to help people who suffer from “glow-in-the-dark” syndrome, so the only people I see it possibly helping are the still-glowing victims of the Chernobyl nuclear accident. Otherwise, I don’t see what medical benefit glow-in-the-dark cats could have for humans who aren’t suffering from anything other than choking on “glow-in-the-dark” fur balls.

The cats were cloned by Mr. Kong Il-keun and his clone, also Mr. Kong Il-keun. No mention was made of whether the cats were indoor cats or outdoor cats or even AC cats or DC cats.

According to the Telegraph.co.uk, animal clones might be genetically altered to produce human body parts. I’ve heard of some people being “catty” before, but that would be taking it to a new extreme. Unless someone wants to be cool and get a tail, I don’t see a cat-human body part match.

The Telegraph, which seems to nearly have cornered the press market on bizarre animal stories, also reports that the Zoological Society of London has released “previously unseen footage” of an endangered species, the long-eared jerboa; a sort of Zapruder film of a rodent, if you will. The Telegraph says the rodent looks like “a cross between a big-eared mouse and a kangaroo.”

The last time anyone saw a creature looking like that was on the drawing board of a Warner Bros. Looney Toons animator. Lest you think that’s just my opinion, the Telegraph quotes the Society’s head of field conservation, Dr. Jonathan Baillie, as describing the jerboa as “a bit like the Mickey Mouse of the desert, cute and comic in equal measure” before adding that the jerboa also wears white gloves and has only three fingers.

That description begs the question, do we really want to save this species? I understand that once a species is gone we can’t get it back but really, why would we want to? If one day cockroaches and rats are on the verge of extinction, should we try to save them? Is the world a less wonderful place because the Dodo bird became extinct? Before you answer “yes” to that question, remember that the Dodo’s greatest contribution to mankind was to enter the English language as an adjective for someone who is none-too-bright.

The rarely seen creature lives in Mongolia and China and the only captive long-eared jerboa died earlier this year in a German zoo, presumably under intense questioning. It seems that he should have taken his interrogators more seriously when they told him “Vee have vays of making you squeak.”

Perhaps scientists could’ve found the jerboa sooner if they’d used an eel to light up a cat to look in the dark for the long-eared jerboa.