DanMargarita.com

Neighbors of Framingham’s St. George’s cemetery are upset that Omnipoint Communications, a subsidiary of T-Mobil, is trying to erect an 80-100 foot monopole at the wooded edge of the cemetery (You’d think that for the kind of money involved, they’d at least spring for a “stereopole”).

The Metro West Daily News quotes a neighbor as saying she’s worried that the tower will bring property values down. Let me get this straight…a pole in a wooded area will bring down surrounding property values…but a lot full of corpses won’t?

I recall talking to a prospective home-buyer who turned down a house she liked because it was located next to a cemetery. If there is one house upon which you won’t have to call the cops on the neighbors, that’s the one. Then again, if you do have trouble with those neighbors, you might have to call Ghostbusters.

The reason for the pole is that there are certain “dead spots” of phone service in that area of Framingham. You’ve gotta love the irony of that.

One of the complaints that cell phone users have is that they lose service while driving on the Mass Pike. Having been nearly run off the road twice by people chatting on their cell phones while driving, the idea that drivers might be more inclined to chat while on the Pike doesn’t appeal to me. It makes it more likely that someone will be killed and wind up…in the cemetery. It seems the irony never ends.

On the other hand, this could’ve made things easier for celebrated magician Harry Houdini, who legend has it, had a phone buried with him so that he could call his wife from the Great Beyond. Boy, you talk about a long distance call. Of course legend also said that Jerry Mathers of Leave It To Beaver fame, was killed in Viet Nam. So why am I always listening to legend? I don’t even listen to singer John Legend!

Speaking of legends, a quick search on the Internet, which Sen. Ted Stevens (R ) of Alaska tells us is “a series of tubes,” finds that St. George is the Patron Saint of England. According to one site, the people of a village were being terrorized by a dragon that was eating two sheep each day. With mutton being scarce, the villagers decided to substitute maidens for sheep. Apparently, maidens were pretty plentiful; at least enough so that the village could spare a few, but I’ll leave the reader to make his or her own sheep joke. This story I would assume to be apocryphal since, while I find it hard to believe that there are dragons, I’m less inclined to believe that a village would feel it would be okay to toss out some perfectly good maidens, but I digress.

The Archdiocese of Boston, which owns St. George’s, seems to have been in the dark about the cell tower issue. According to the Metro West, the Rev. Frank O'Brien, a priest at St. George’s Church, tried to call the archdiocese about putting the cell tower in the new steeple which will replace the old one, but couldn’t get a hold of anyone. My guess is that he had poor cell phone service.

I guess it’s time to lay this story to rest.