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July 29, 2008
The Greatest Man I Ever Knew
The quote says that “Some are born great, some achieve greatness and others have greatness thrust upon them.” Somehow it seems that my father, Bob Margarita, who passed away on Monday, July 28 at age 87, managed to fit into all three categories.
He died peacefully at home surrounded by his children whom he dearly loved and who dearly loved him, along with his beloved dog Jake.
My siblings and I are of course saddened at the loss of our father, but we have also been able to share numerous smiles at the many wonderful memories we have of him. Though his soft voice and gentle manner will no longer grace our presence, his presence in not only in our lives, but the lives of so many whom he touched throughout his long life, made an indelible impact.
As a child, I know I bragged about his storied athletic career. That’s a pretty natural thing for a boy; to confuse his father’s athletic success with greatness. Children always see professional athletes as heroes, as do many adults.
A star athlete at Medford High, Brown University and then the Chicago Bears, my father also was scouted as a catcher by the Detroit Tigers and took infield with them when they came to town to play the Red Sox at Fenway Park.
When his playing days were over, he became a football coach at many colleges including Harvard, Yale, Boston University and took a Georgetown team to the Sun Bowl, while at the time, the youngest college head football coach in the country. So you see, I had plenty to brag about.
As I grew up I got to see that the true measure of his greatness wasn’t in his professional career, but in the way he lived his life and loved his family.
After a successful second season as a running back and defensive back with the Chicago Bears, he retired to spend time with my mother and their son Bobby, who suffered from spina bifida. He did come out of retirement when the Bears asked him to as they were heading toward the 1946 NFL Championship. After the Bears won the championship game my father retired from playing for good.
Having an intimate knowledge of George Halas’ famed T Formation, he was one of the most sought after college football coaches in the country, but knowing my mother wanted to stay close to her roots, he bypassed numerous high-paying jobs at big-name colleges to stay fairly close to home. How many of us would do that?
During a brief stint as a teacher/coach at Wayland High, the principal came into his class one day to tell him that he had a phone call from Los Angeles in his office for my father. A long distance phone call from LA was a pretty big deal in those days. My father returned and explained that the call had been from the owner of the Los Angeles Dons of the new All America Football Conference, an attempted rival to the NFL.
He explained to the principal that the Dons had offered him a contract of $40, 000, an incredible sum for the time, to come out of retirement and play for them. The principal was stunned when my father told him he had declined the offer.
He continued to turn down lucrative coaching offers to stay in the area. At one point, he took a job as a salesman, which paid reasonably well. As he explained to me one day, he realized that he wasn’t happy in that job and really just wanted to be and belonged on a football field, so when the opportunity to coach again came along, he jumped at the chance.
He finally got what I think he thought of as his dream job when he was hired in 1964 as a teacher and football coach in his hometown of Stoneham, Ma. This would cement his local legend status.
As a teacher, he was often assigned the tough kids because, as a former administrator once explained to me, he was “the only one that could handle them.”
Perhaps his stocky build and powerful forearms helped, but more likely it was his gentle nature and the fact that he treated them fairly and with respect, which I know they recognized because some of them told me that.
After retiring from teaching in 1987, he took the job as equipment manager for Stoneham High Athletics. Ever-present at the school and various sporting events with one of his many dogs, he continued to be loved by many generations of students.
I couldn’t begin to count the number of times someone told me how much my father meant to them or of a kindness he did for them, such as helping them get into a certain college or getting a certain job.
After his induction as a charter member of the Stoneham High Athletic Hall of Fame (also a charter member of the Brown University and Medford High Hall of Fame), he received a note from a former student who told him how much he meant to her and that he was the inspiration for her interest in history and is a constant reader of historical novels due to his influence. He was as proud of that note as any accolade or accomplishment that he ever received in football. He showed the note to anyone and everyone who came by the house or told of the note to anyone whom he spoke to on the phone.
He had been in declining health for quite a while and spent time in various hospitals and nursing homes. Yet, he always managed to keep us laughing because I know he didn’t want us to worry about him. When he was last brought to the hospital and it didn’t look like he’d survive the day, he woke up at one point and saw my brothers Jimmy and Johnny and in a booming voice said “Jimmy, you’re not only smarter than Johnny, you’re better looking!” which of course cracked them up. He then fell right back to sleep.
When it was determined by the doctors that nothing more could be done for him, he came back to his home of “54 years” as he proudly noted to a healthcare worker, which made him very happy.
Upon being brought into the house, the first thing he said was "Hi Jake! Hi Jake!" despite the presence of four of his children. The next thing he said after looking around was a relieved "I'm home." His last two audible full sentences were "I love you" to all of us and then (I'm not making this up) "Where's Jake?"
Yes, he had quite a professional career as a player and then a teacher and coach, but it was his even more successful roles of husband, father and human being that made him without a doubt, the greatest man I ever knew.
Posted by dmargarita at 4:14 PM
July 15, 2008
Mr. Mom
Every time that I begin a column with the sentence “Just when you thought life couldn’t get any weirder,” life gets even weirder.
Several news outlets have reported that a man named Thomas Beatie has given birth to a baby girl. I’ll give you a minute to re-read that sentence. Yes, you read it correctly.
Born a female, the 34-year-old Beatie decided about 10 years ago to become a man and began taking testosterone treatments and had his/her (for the sake of convenience, I’ll refer to Beatie as he/him for the rest of this article, since he is legally considered a man) breasts removed. Lest there be some confusion, this was done surgically and not through extensive work on the Bowflex machine, although does also claim to have “Buns of Steel.”
His wife Nancy, unable to conceive on her own due to a hysterectomy, told Oprah Winfrey in April that the couple conceived using artificial insemination. How that usually is done, I don’t know, but Mrs. Beatie told Oprah that she inseminated him using a syringe. Presumably, the couple then smoked a cigarette and waited for the results.
The couple own and operate a T-shirt printing business in Bend (as in “Gender Bend”) Oregon. This should give the couple a whole new slew of sayings to put on their T-shirts. I can see all the cute T-shirts hanging side-by-side, reading "I'm With Stupid" and "I'd Rather Be Fishing" and “My Husband Also Has a Vagina.” Rest assured, that sentence will be altered for the print version.
MSNBC reported on their website that the couple used sperm that was “purchased from a bank.” Perhaps someone should tell their interns that in journalism, clarity is one of the most important aspects of the business. MSNBC shouldn’t assume that readers will know that the purchase was made from a sperm bank and not the First National Bank of Portland.
Keeping his reproductive organs paid off, for while they used donor sperm for the insemination process, Mr. Beatie was able to use his own eggs. For my customary bad-pun-per-column, I’ll let you insert your own “Egg Beaties” joke here.
Mr. and Mrs. Beatie announced that the baby was not born by Caesarian section as previously reported, and before you say “Ouch!” out loud, it should be known that when Beatie changed his gender, he decided to keep his reproductive organs to retain the ability to have children someday. Coincidently, this also gives him the ability to be the most popular guy in his gym’s men’s locker room.
When the couple decided to conceive about two years ago, Beatie stopped his bimonthly hormone treatments and resumed menstruating. The products he will need for now will not be available in that same men’s locker room.
People Magazine quotes Beatie as saying “The only thing different about me is that I can’t breast feed my baby, but a lot of mothers don’t.” True, but not many mothers have to deal with 5 o’clock shadow.
The couple plan to keep an otherwise traditional family relationship and Mrs. Beatie told Oprah that “He’s going to be the father, and I’m going to be the mother.”
I guess I know what that means in terms of their relationship, but it leaves me with one question that still puzzles me:
Does Mr. Beatie leave the toilet seat up or down?
Posted by dmargarita at 5:50 PM
July 8, 2008
Java Jive
I heard a very disturbing medical fact recently: scientists have determined that life is the leading cause of death. Okay, I’m exaggerating a bit…but mot much.
I can’t remember exactly what it was, but I read something about a food that was always supposed to be very good for you, was suddenly now very bad for you. It reminded me of an old Time or Newsweek cover that begged the question “So, what can we eat?” after a good food was determined to be a bad food.
Now WebMD and other sources quote new studies that say having at least six cups of coffee per day can reduce the risk of type 2 diabetes, increase your life span and even possibly prevent cavities. I’m assuming that’s coffee with artificial sweetener, which will just give you cancer.
The article goes on to state that people who smoke and are heavy drinkers have less heart disease and liver damage if they’re regular coffee drinkers (and if you drink a lot of coffee, you will be regular). There’s a health plan for you. Drink up folks, and smoke ‘em if you got ‘em!
So who needs an HMO when you have five Dunkin Donuts right here in Stoneham? I don’t think anyone in this town will ever die. We also learned a few years back that a glass of red wine a day was good for the heart. That’s just the excuse that’s kept people away from their AA meetings.
The majority of American adults drink coffee, as are an increasing number of children. However, I don’t expect that any time soon you’ll see the kids stop chasing the ice cream man and start chasing the coffee truck. They even cite one study where children in Brazil who drink coffee with milk each day are less likely to have depression. Well, they might be less depressed because their country is not currently in the middle of a coup.
Not that long ago, people were told to cut down on their caffeine intake because it can lead to high blood pressure and has caused some people to have trouble sleeping. On the other hand, you may have trouble sleeping because you’re worried about your high blood pressure.
This seems to follow along the lines of The Atkins Diet which swept the country a few years back. After decades of being told that eggs were bad for you because of the cholesterol, a Dr. Atkins came up with a diet that featured eggs prominently as a means of losing weight.
“What a shame to lose Fred at such a young age.”
“Yeah, but doesn’t he look great? Lost a ton of weight.”
You might recall that for eons we were told that cholesterol was bad for us. Then, we were told that there was good cholesterol and bad cholesterol. How were we to know the difference? The good cholesterol wore the white hats.
The article goes on to state that caffeine can also enhance athletic performance and thus was considered a “controlled substance” by the Olympic Games Committee. That’s no surprise. I’ve been watching professional sports for years and can usually tell when someone’s on coffee. If only the “juiced” players would just switch to juice.
According to news reports, the study began in 1980 and ended in 2004 and involved 84,214 women. A follow-up study of men ran from 1986 to 2004, which means that between 1980 and 2004, there were 125,950 people who didn’t sleep through five presidential administrations.
This extensive study took a long time and undoubtedly required researchers to down gallons of coffee to stay awake. Wouldn’t that be a conflict of interest?
As for me, I’m exhausted.
I need a nap.
Posted by dmargarita at 1:33 PM