DanMargarita.com

I can’t remember exactly what it was, but I read something about a food that was always supposed to be very good for you, was suddenly now very bad for you. It reminded me of an old Time or Newsweek cover that begged the question “So, what can we eat?” after a good food was determined to be a bad food.

Now WebMD and other sources quote new studies that say having at least six cups of coffee per day can reduce the risk of type 2 diabetes, increase your life span and even possibly prevent cavities. I’m assuming that’s coffee with artificial sweetener, which will just give you cancer.

The article goes on to state that people who smoke and are heavy drinkers have less heart disease and liver damage if they’re regular coffee drinkers (and if you drink a lot of coffee, you will be regular). There’s a health plan for you. Drink up folks, and smoke ‘em if you got ‘em!

So who needs an HMO when you have five Dunkin Donuts right here in Stoneham? I don’t think anyone in this town will ever die. We also learned a few years back that a glass of red wine a day was good for the heart. That’s just the excuse that’s kept people away from their AA meetings.

The majority of American adults drink coffee, as are an increasing number of children. However, I don’t expect that any time soon you’ll see the kids stop chasing the ice cream man and start chasing the coffee truck. They even cite one study where children in Brazil who drink coffee with milk each day are less likely to have depression. Well, they might be less depressed because their country is not currently in the middle of a coup.

Not that long ago, people were told to cut down on their caffeine intake because it can lead to high blood pressure and has caused some people to have trouble sleeping. On the other hand, you may have trouble sleeping because you’re worried about your high blood pressure.

This seems to follow along the lines of The Atkins Diet which swept the country a few years back. After decades of being told that eggs were bad for you because of the cholesterol, a Dr. Atkins came up with a diet that featured eggs prominently as a means of losing weight.

“What a shame to lose Fred at such a young age.”
“Yeah, but doesn’t he look great? Lost a ton of weight.”

You might recall that for eons we were told that cholesterol was bad for us. Then, we were told that there was good cholesterol and bad cholesterol. How were we to know the difference? The good cholesterol wore the white hats.

The article goes on to state that caffeine can also enhance athletic performance and thus was considered a “controlled substance” by the Olympic Games Committee. That’s no surprise. I’ve been watching professional sports for years and can usually tell when someone’s on coffee. If only the “juiced” players would just switch to juice.

According to news reports, the study began in 1980 and ended in 2004 and involved 84,214 women. A follow-up study of men ran from 1986 to 2004, which means that between 1980 and 2004, there were 125,950 people who didn’t sleep through five presidential administrations.

This extensive study took a long time and undoubtedly required researchers to down gallons of coffee to stay awake. Wouldn’t that be a conflict of interest?

As for me, I’m exhausted.

I need a nap.