DanMargarita.com

According to AP news reports, the Iraqi government, in an effort to boost tourism, (yes, tourism) is requesting that companies submit plans to build a giant Ferris wheel, dubbed the Baghdad Eye, in the war-torn city.

The proposal calls for a 650-foot structure to be built so that residents and tourists will be able to have an impressive view of the city…as well as a clear shot at any target for miles around.

Considering the government currently provides about four to eight hours of electricity a day, one had better hope that they’re not in the top car when the power shuts off.

The proposed wheel will tower over London’s Eye, the popular Ferris wheel which stands at 450-feet by the banks of the Thames River.

Instead of single cars, it will have air-conditioned compartments that can hold 30 people. Hopefully riders will also have taken advantage of the available electricity and bathed prior to buying a ticket.

While violence has subsided somewhat in the past year, suicide bombings, sectarian violence and insurgent attacks still occur, which means it could still be dangerous for tourists to go there…or it could become the coolest carnival ever!

Baghdad residents are now less afraid to venture out at night, according to AP and recently a crowd of 10,000 soccer fans watched a recent match at Baghdad Stadium (aka “The House That Saddam Built”), the largest crowd for a sporting event since the U.S. invasion, or the last mass execution.

An American developer named Robert Kelley has announced plans to build a luxury hotel in the Green Zone, the area that currently occupies the Iraqi government and U.S. military offices. I guess luxury in Baghdad means having electricity and running water.

The Iraqi Tourism Board (and you thought your sales job was tough) wants to develop a “romantic” island on the Tigris River, once a popular spot for honeymooners. I can imagine some of the tourism slogans they’ll be working on:

“Baghdad is for Lovers…of Suicide Bombings”
“I (heart symbol) Martyrs”
“Live Free or…No, Just Die”
“You’ve Got a Friend in Iraq…But We Killed Him”

Also on the drawing board are plans for an 18-hole golf course, which should stop golfers from using the craters in the roads caused by improvised explosive devices (IED’s) that currently lack flag pins. I have to say that Ibrahim St. is really a tough dog leg to the right.

While three locations are being considered for the Ferris wheel, the most secure spot might be the city park, Zawra, which is next to the Green Zone and the Baghdad Zoo. Seeing as the Bronx also has a zoo, maybe that’s what the Bronx needs to attract more tourists…a giant Ferris wheel.

Of course it might take a lot more than a Ferris wheel to attract tourists. Perhaps they should go the whole carnival route. They could have the game where you shoot at mechanical ducks. A lot of these people are already armed, anyway. Then again, the Ferris wheel itself provides a juicy moving target.

How about the “Hall of Bullet-proof Glass” or a “Dunk the Infidel” tank?

Baseball is not an Iraqi sport so there wouldn’t be the game where you knock milk bottles down with a throw. On the other hand, a hand grenade toss would knock those bottles over (as well as the entire booth).

While the Ferris wheel could possibly bring some tourists, I would imagine that having basic amenities twenty four hours a day as well as decreasing the chances that people might be killed on any given day would be a better place to start.

If this project comes to fruition, it won’t be for quite some time, so next February you won’t be seeing this commercial:

“Hey, Matt Cassel…you just won the Super Bowl! What are you going to do now?”
“I’m going to Baghdad!”

Well, you might not see that commercial anyway.