DanMargarita.com

Well, that may be how the famous poem should read now that astronomers have concluded that the Star of Bethlehem may have been one of a series of astrological occurrences in June of the period, thus placing Jesus’ birth date in June, not December.

This puts an entirely new light on how the birth of Jesus could have gone, not to mention how we would’ve viewed Santa Claus if we’d considered Christmas a warm-weather event. Indeed, perhaps Santa would be located in the Gobi Desert instead of the North Pole.

Can you see a slim, tanned Old Saint Nick in a red T-shirt and Bermuda shorts? A warm-weather Santa would be more likely to use camels and not reindeer to pull his sleigh. Perhaps it’s time that we update Clement Moore’s famous poem anyway, as it should probably be made more politically correct and inclusive.

“On Kandi, on Tammy, on Brandi (with an “I”) and Stacey! On Darnell, on Hammed, on Rufus and Gracie!”

According to MSNBC’s website, one of the events that occurred in 3 B.C. (did anyone ever look at a calendar back then and wonder what “B.C.” meant?), was when Jupiter passed so closely to Venus that they may have looked like one star. This rare grouping of planets, according to MSNBC (yeah, like I’d know this without the Internet), is called a “conjunction” and now we know its function (you have to be over forty to get that).

This June scenario certainly makes it more likely that the Three Wisemen would have walked hundreds of miles to follow a star, although one might question the wisdom of such a journey at any time of the year. Then again, bringing frankincense to an infant as a gift doesn’t make all that much sense, either.

A recent report by the Associated Press states that with easing tensions, tourism in Bethlehem is on the rise again after political violence had subdued the industry for years. Hotels and motels are booked solidly through January. Legendary philosopher, Charlie Brown, noted as far back as 1965 that Christmas has gotten increasingly commercial and I don’t envision that it is any different now in Bethlehem.

I can imagine some of the cheesier motel names.

“The No Room At The Inn Inn.”

Being solidly booked, they would appropriately be flashing a “No Vacancy” sign.

Perhaps the “Manger Motel” in the actual Manger Square could sell out without advertising “Free Adult Movies.” They would be more inclined to have a sign that reads “Ox and Lambs Welcome.” It is still a conservative part of the world, so Western travelers going there should not expect to see “The Gaza Strip Club.”

Modern day pilgrims might as well forget about bringing gold, frankincense and myrrh to Bethlehem. These days you can’t get toothpaste on an airplane, much less myrrh…unless, of course, you have your myrrh in a clear, zip-lock baggie.

Upon entering the country you’d have to declare gold, one would assume. Your best bet is to change currency before you leave your port of departure. In the current economic climate the dollar isn’t getting a good exchange rate in too many places, and probably never got a good exchange rate for the shekel. That might have had something to do with why Jesus turned over the moneychanger’s table.

Here in this season of peace and love (perhaps you should stay away from newspapers for a while), I want to wish my Christians friends a Merry Christmas and my Jewish friends, Happy Hanukah.

As for my atheist friends, enjoy the day off.

Seriously, peace and love to you all.