DanMargarita.com

This year marks the 235th birthday of legendary character Johnny Appleseed, whose real name was not “Appleseed,” (Oh, are you one of the Leominster Appleseeds?”) but in fact, John Chapman. It was his fellow frontiersman who nicknamed him “Appleseed,” being the clever sort that they were.
Appleseed…uh, Chapman, was indeed born in Leominster, Mass., just before the American Revolution.

The legend of Johnny Appleseed is that he walked around, sprinkling seeds about in hopes that apple trees would grow. As a person who has a black thumb (plastic flowers manage to die under my care), even I would guess that it probably takes a little more work than that to start an orchard. Indeed, the many websites devoted to Johnny Appleseed (not everything online is pornographic or videos of guys being hit in the groin) say that has was a skilled nursery man, who made money on his botany endeavors.

He didn’t spend his money on luxury items, though. He made his clothes from sacks, slept outdoors, walked around barefoot and wore a tin pot on his head. Come to think of it, I’ve seen guys wearing similar attire in Harvard Square. They usually weren’t planting apple trees, though. More likely they were talking to themselves.

He often gave his money to charity or used it to further his work planting orchards. Every account online indicates that he was a gentle, peaceful man who befriended both the Native Americans and the settlers, and would sometimes be a peacemaker between the two. Hey, when a barefoot guy wearing a sack and a tin pot on his head is the voice of reason, maybe you need to reconsider your issues.

He certainly was resourceful, making drinking water by melting snow with his feet. Presumably, this occurred more often in the wintertime. What he was able to make with his frostbitten toes isn’t on record.

One website says that the type of apple that he grew was called (and I’m not making this up), Rambo. I guess it would have been less macho-sounding if Sylvester Stallone called his First Blood Viet Nam veteran character “John Red Delicious.”

Another site claims that Chapman was a hero. During the War of 1812 local settlers in Ohio were concerned that the Indians would attack after a shopkeeper was killed. (Sure, blame the Indians). Johnny Appleseed then ran 26 miles for help. At least that’s what he told them.

“Yeah, I’ll go for help. Which way is Canada? See ya.”

Running 26 miles is tough enough, as we witness in Boston every Patriot’s Day, but doing it in bare feet, without the opportunity to load up on carbs the day before, or someone waiting with a cup of water every few miles, is unfathomable. On the other hand, if someone is chasing you with a tomahawk, with the intent of scalping you, you might be able to dig down deep for that extra something to carry you along. Boston’s Heartbreak Hill would definitely seem like less of an obstacle.

They say “an apple a day keeps the doctor away,” and that seems to have been true for Chapman. He apparently was only sick once in his 70 years, that being the time when he died of pneumonia. That’s what happens when you continue to melt snow with your feet.

His mother died when he was very young, and thus he never had her nagging him to put some shoes on.

“You’ll catch your death of cold!”

Many of the trees that Appleseed/Chapman planted are still bearing fruit. Leominster is still around, too.