December 31, 2009
Happy New Year!
Hey Gang,
From all of us here at danmargarita.com, Betty, Veronica, Shaggy & Scooby, want to wish you all a Happy New Year. One last song from me for the year and decade, it's a Bob Dylan song----which I wrote (last week, no less). It's called "Talkin' Bob Dyaln's Vocal Blues" and in it, I attempt to sing in every style which Dylan did over the years. Here's a link:
http://www.myspace.com/danmargaritamusic
Posted by dmargarita at 1:37 PM
December 28, 2009
2009: The Year in Review
The year 2009 is about to conclude, which means it’s time for me to once again do my annual year in review, which I do every year, hence the word “annual” (like that joke).
Jan. 15---A U.S. Airways plane crashes into the Hudson River shortly after takeoff after Canadian geese get caught in the engine. The FBI later finds that the geese left behind jihadi suicide videos.
Jan. 20---Barak Obama is sworn in as the 44th President of the United States, becoming the first black president of the country, as well as the first Kenyan-born and Muslim president.
Jan. 29---Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich is removed from office after allegedly trying to sell President Barak Obama’s vacant senate seat. Blagojevich was not only impeached by the House of Representatives of Illinois, he’d also been a member (SEE: Hair Club for Men).
Feb. 17---President Obama signs the stimulus bill, to try and save or create 3.5 million jobs. Unfortunately, many of the jobs created are “birthers.”
Apr. 13---U.S. Navy snipers kill three Somali pirates who were holding an American ship captain hostage. Pirates are unable to see snipers due to their eye patches.
Jun. 1---General Motors files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection, but only after discussing it with their managers.
Jun. 12---Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad defeats challenger Mir-Hossein Mousav in a presidential race, largely believed to be ridden by fraud. Ahmadinejad claims 66% of the vote, but in reality has 666%. Part of the problem is with hanging Chad’s…and Ahmed’s and Jamaal’s. The U.S. Supreme Court rules 5-4 in favor of Ahmadinejad.
Jun. 25---Michael Jackson, “The King of Pop,” dies of an apparent overdose of medication in an attempt to sleep. Remarkably, Keith Richard continues to live.
Jun. 26---South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford (R), admits to “Hiking the Appalachian Trail” with a woman in Argentina. Sanford initially claims that he was spreading his “Family Values” philosophy in South America and calls it his “La Familia Valora” Tour. After publicly confessing to the affair and apologizing to his wife Jenny, he then refers to the Argentinean woman as his “soul mate.” Eventually, he will refer to Jenny Sanford as his “ex-wife.”
Jun. 25---Ponzi scheme king Bernard Madoff is sentenced to 150 years in jail for his fraud scheme. Madoff vows that with good behavior, he’ll be out in 127 years.
Jul. 17---Legendary CBS Newsman Walter Cronkite passes away at age 92. Cronkite dies peacefully, surrounded by his family. And that’s the way it was.
Jul. 24—The Cash for Clunkers program begins. Many married people mistakenly try to trade in their spouse.
Jul. 26---Alaska Governor Sarah Palin announces her resignation, to become….well, that remains to be seen. “I’m not a quitter,” Palin later tells the press, after quitting midway through her term. Palin also says she can do more for Alaska by not being in charge of it.
Jul. 30---Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates and Police Sergeant James Crowley meet President Obama at the White House for a “Beer Summit,” after Crowley’s controversial arrest of Gates, sparking racial tensions. The three don’t solve America’s race problem, but all agree to call for an end to baseball’s “Designated Hitter.”
Aug. 25---Sen. Ted Kennedy dies from cancer at age 72. Pop singer Dion begins rewriting “Abraham, Martin and John.”
Aug. 25---Many legislators conduct Town Hall Meetings to discuss health care reform. Enraged protesters scream “No govt. health care!” while ironically also stating, “Don’t touch my Medicare!”
Sept. 9---During a speech on healthcare by President Obama, Rep. Joe Wilson (R-SC), yells “You lie!” Wilson later apologizes to Obama, who tells him, “I’m rubber, you’re glue. Anything you say bounces off of me and gets stuck to you!”
Oct. 2---President Obama travels to Copenhagen where he singlehandedly loses the Olympics, finishing out of the medal round.
Oct. 9---President Barak Obama is awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, becoming the fourth American president to win the award, as well as the first Kenyan-born Muslim American president to win.
Oct. 15---The family of 6-year-old Falcon Heene admits to staging a hoax in claiming that Falcon was trapped in a runaway balloon, in order to garner publicity in an attempt to get on a reality TV show. Ironically, the Heene’s eventually get on several reality TV shows called, “The Evening News.” The family becomes social pariahs, however, Balloon Boy becomes fast friends with Bubble Boy.
Oct. 28---Department of Homeland Secretary Janet Napolitano conducts a press conference to explain how to deal with the H1N1 or so-called “Swine Flu.” Napolitano ends her speech by saying “Th-th-th-that’s all, folks!”
Nov. 24---Celebrity wannabe’s the Salahi’s crash a state dinner at the White House. While there, the Salahi’s suggest to President Obama that the couples go on a double date and see a play at Ford’s Theater.
Nov. 27---Tiger Woods crashes his car outside his house, after his apparently angry wife Elin, smashes the back window with a golf club. Elin Woods’ drive forces Tiger’s car to slice to the right and into a fire hydrant.
Dec. 10---President Obama receives his Nobel “You’re Not George W. Bush” Peace Prize, just days after announcing that he’s sending 30,000 troops to Afghanistan. Former Vice President Dick Cheney grumbles, “Hell, I got thousands of people killed! Where’s my award?!”
Dec. 25---A Nigerian man tries to blow up a Northwest plane as it attempts to land in Detroit. While authorities speculate that it is a Muslim terrorist plot, the man explains it was merely because he looked out the window and saw Detroit.
There you have some, but not all, of the highlights and lowlights of 2009. Here’s hoping that 2010 is better one for all of us.
Posted by dmargarita at 2:19 PM
December 21, 2009
This Just In…
This just in...The Grinch has been sent to The Hague to be tried for "Crimes against Whomanity."
Posted by dmargarita at 9:14 PM
December 15, 2009
Reindeer Games
“You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen; Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen. But do you recall, the most famous reindeer of all?” (Here’s a hint, it isn’t “Adolph”).
Such begins the song Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer as famously sung by cowboy singer Gene Autry.
Many of us of a certain age grew up watching the classic Rankin and Bass animated production of the show of the same name. Whether it is a sign of our age now, or the age that we live in, I find myself reading criticisms of the show and it’s propensity for goofs in continuity on the Internet.
People, this is not a Ken Burns PBS documentary.
If Burns’ World War II documentary, The War claimed that Normandy Beach was stormed exclusively by Catholic nuns, there would deservedly be an outcry for a correction.
Sure, Santa takes off in his sleigh at the end with only six reindeer plus Rudolph. Perhaps two reindeer had negotiated a day off in their union contract. One point of contention is the Misfit Girl Doll, who seemingly has nothing wrong with her. This apparently remained a mystery for years but was finally addressed by Rankin/Bass, who explained (and I’m not making this up) that the Misfit Girl Doll was on the Island of Misfit Toys because she had “psychological” problems. “She feels unloved,” they added. It seems much more of a New Age notion that she was a misfit because she was unable to connect emotionally with another doll.
Mind you, back then there were no commercials for little pills to retrieve you from the throws of depression…or erectile dysfunction (there’s one doll you didn’t see on the Island of Misfit Toys!).
My recollection is that only “boy” reindeer could play in the reindeer games, but isn’t one of the reindeer named Vixen? Doesn’t that indicate a female by definition? Then of course, there’s Prancer, who presumably joined the team under Santa’s “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.
The star of the show, other than Rudolph, is Hermie, the elf who wants to become a dentist. He is also the only elf who doesn’t have pointed ears, which probably made him more of an outcast than the fact that he wanted to be a dentist.
That leads us to another quandary as to whether or not Santa ever had kids. Are the elves his kids? If so, the fact that he’s 2000 years old may explain having so many weird looking kids. If they’re not his kids, then what’s the deal? Is Mrs. Claus merely his “beard”?
How come Admiral Byrd didn’t see Santa’s workshop when he flew over the North Pole? Huh? Huh?
I could never figure why Yukon Cornelius was always licking his pick (not as dirty as it sounds) after digging it into the ground. As a child, it made me think you could taste gold and silver. It’s because he wasn’t supposed to be looking for gold or silver, although they are mentioned, but he was apparently looking for a peppermint mine. That would make a lot more sense.
What most people probably don’t know is that the end, where Santa comes back for the Misfit Toys to be delivered to boys and girls, is not the original ending. People who viewed the show as it debuted in 1964 saw Santa fly away and leave the toys there. That prompted a furious letter writing campaign, prompting a new ending, the one we are now familiar with, for the 1965 broadcast. Hopefully the DVD version will include other alternative endings, like the one with Hermie’s venison dinner.
If you’re wondering why Rudolph is never mentioned on Clement Moore’s classic poem ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, it is because Rudolph didn’t exist until 1939 when he was invented as part of a promotion for the Montgomery Ward department store. Yes, cheap commercialism brought about our beloved song and TV show. Thank God we never got “A Joe Isuzu Christmas.” Perhaps this commercialism what Charlie Brown was complaining about in the 1965 show, A Charlie Brown Christmas.
The “Rudolph” show may have its issues, but they’re fun to discuss. Nevertheless, the show remains an enjoyable memory from my childhood.
I have to admit, I still don’t want a Charlie-in-the-box.
Posted by dmargarita at 3:56 PM
December 10, 2009
Kinda Pregnant
Hello All,
After some prodding, I dug an old song out of the vault and recorded it. It's called "Kinda Pregnant" and it's about seeing things as not being cut & dry or black & white. Here it is for your listening pleasure (I hope).
Peace, love and understanding,
Dan
Scroll down the bottom:
http://www.myspace.com/danmargaritamusic
Posted by dmargarita at 7:56 PM