February 24, 2010
Terror, Inc.
Congratulations to the U.S. Marines who recently captured what appears to have been Taliban headquarters, in Afghanistan. Although, from what they seem to have collected, we might soon find the Taliban and Al Qaeda listed in the Yellow Pages.
Several news outlets noted that among the items captured were: photos of fighters posing with AK 47’s (mind you, only two at a time can fit into those photo booths at the mall with AK 47’s), ID cards, diplomas and Taliban letterhead stationary.
Letterhead stationary?
Perhaps instead of storming Taliban headquarters, the Marines could’ve just staked out the local Staples store. It must be a little weird to see Taliban or Al Qaeda stationary.
“From the desk of Osama bin Laden….
Dear Mullah Omar,
Kill more infidels.
Yours,
O.”
I suppose that the stationary would include some sort of logo, whatever that might be. A beard, maybe? Whereas Frosted Flakes had Tony the Tiger, the Taliban could have Tariq the Terrorist.
“Heeeee’s brrrrruuuuutal!”
I’m not sure if bin Laden has a “Dumb Things A Gotta Do” list on the wall of his cave.
“1.) Send robes to be dry-cleaned.
2.) Have sandals repaired.
3.) Record “Death to the Great Satan” message.”
As for diploma’s, their graduation party would make “Animal House” look like an English tea party (meaning actually having tea and not propagating lies that President Obama wants to kill your grandmother).
Graduates of these terror training camps, or Terror University (“T.U.”), likely have their own cheers.
“Osama bin Laden, he’s our man! If he can’t kill you, no one can!”
Although, I imagine that students who pass the “Suicide Bombing:101” class never actually get to graduate.
Their hazing rituals are probably pretty tough ones to pass.
In fairness, the Taliban has embarked on a public relations campaign in recent months, even so far as having issued a “code of conduct.”
The directive tells members avoid causing civilian casualties and forbids “the severing of ears, nose and lips.”
Boy, and you thought Tiger Woods had an uphill battle to rehabilitate his image.
Well, that edict is something you want to put right up front in this campaign.
“The Taliban…we no longer will cut off your lips, nose or ears!”
I don’t see why they don’t just take out an ad during next year’s Super Bowl.
There is a difference between The Taliban and Al Qaeda, though. The latter is headed (or should I say “be-headed,” smirk, smirk) by Osama bin Laden, who frankly, seems more of a figurehead these days, sort of like George Steinbrenner (I’m sure I’m not the first to make that comparison). Indeed, if Billy Martin were still alive, he might now be working for Al Qaeda. I can just see Osama bin Laden coming out for Old Timer’s Day to throw out the first hand grenade.
Mr. bin Laden still pops up from time to time, releasing some audiotape just to let people know he’s still alive. At this point, he now seems like a petulant child at Grandma’s birthday party who’s annoyed that the adults are no longer paying attention to him and desperate to get the spotlight back.
All of this comes on the heels of the capture of Abdul Ghani Baradar, considered the number two (“Who does number two work for?!”) man in the Taliban, behind Mullah Omar. In fact, he has been described as the CEO of the Taliban; all the more reason to dislike him. He probably gave himself a big bonus (that bonus being getting the best spot in Osama’s cave).
It’s been reported that one plan the Allies have is to turn some of the less hardcore Taliban, those that are simply in it for the money, to come over to our side. It seems that the Taliban and Al Qaeda merely pay better.
Well, with unemployment in this country at it’s highest point in decades, it good to know there are at least some jobs available.
Posted by dmargarita at 12:07 AM
February 13, 2010
Happy Valentine's Day!
Hello Gang,
I just want to wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day (note that I was careful not to say "Happy V.D."). I want to share a love song with you all, as members of this site you get the premiere of this touching love song on Valentine's Day Weekend called, "Now That We've Seen Each Other Naked." Don't let the title fool you, It's really quite sweet. Here's the link to my myspace page where the song resides. Just click on the link, and scroll to the bottom.
http://www.myspace.com/danmargaritamusic
Posted by dmargarita at 4:33 PM
February 11, 2010
Gulu Gulu
Hello Gang,
If you're not doing anything on Thursday, March 4th at 8:00 p.m. I'll be performing (co-headlining) at the Gulu Gulu Cafe in Salem, Ma. I'll be joined by the wonderfully weird and funky Astro Al. For more details check the club website http://www.gulu-gulu.com/
Posted by dmargarita at 11:02 PM
February 7, 2010
A New Song!
Hey Gang,
Here's a new song I just finished recording. It's called "What Were You Thinking, Jerry Lee?" about the great early rocker Jerry Lee Lewis, who ruined his career by marrying a girl who was not only 13 years old and his cousin, but he had not divorced his previous wife at the time. Here's the link to my myspace page which contains the song. Just click on this link) or paste it in your browser) and scroll to the bottom and give it a listen.
http://www.myspace.com/danmargaritamusic
Dan
Posted by dmargarita at 2:33 PM