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April 22, 2010
Brew'd Awakening
Hi All,
Just a reminder that I'll be performing this Saturday at Brew'd Awakening, 61 Market St., Lowell, Ma. at 7:00. I'll be co-headlining with the wonderfully weird Astro Al. There's no cover charge.
Thanks,
Dan
Posted by dmargarita at 6:41 PM
April 12, 2010
Monsterburg.com
Hey Gang,
Dave Monsterburg, who runs the humor website monsterburg.com, which is rapidly becoming an internet sensation, has posted my video for "Stitches & Nudity" on his site. It's a bit choppy, as the file ay be too large, but you can always go to youtube to see it, or this site. Check out Dave's site sometime, for some pretty funny (warning: some adult content) stuff.
Thanks,
Dan
Posted by dmargarita at 8:42 AM
April 11, 2010
That's What Bogart Would've Said
Hey Gang,
Here's a brand, spanking new song called, "That's What Bogart Said." It's about understanding that movies (and TV shows) are pure fiction. It's an old song I recently dug up, but seems timely where some FOX News commentators think that Jack Bauer's success at getting information from people by torturing them, is a justification for waterboarding detainees. Click this link and scroll to the bottom to access it.
Thanks, Dan
http://www.myspace.com/danmargaritamusic
Posted by dmargarita at 7:39 PM
April 5, 2010
Grapefruit Bits
As the Red Sox open the regular season, I thought it would be appropriate to give a wrap up of my annual Spring Training trip. Hey, I didn’t fly 1200 miles just to get a tan!
Sun., Mar. 14--- Getting a deal with Delta means flying on standby…or should I say, waiting on standby. This turns out to be my first experience with those new TSA full-body scanners at Logan Airport and as a standby flier, proves to be an unnecessary one.
The process involves standing with your feet apart and your hands over your head, in a praying position. For male travelers, they have male TSA agents do your body scanning and for female travelers, a female TSA agent. Unfortunately, one does not get to choose their body scanner. I mean, if I have to show off the goods, frankly I rather show them off to the attractive female TSA agent then the fat, balding middle-aged guy.
“Okay, fella…here you go.”
As I stand there, feet slightly apart, hands over my head, it occurs to me to have some fun by slowly gyrating my hips, and singing Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On.” As it turns out, as part of my cheap flight deal, flying on standby, all of the flights that day are booked and I have to go home and try again tomorrow. There’s nothing like an unnecessary $50 cab ride to the airport at 6 a.m. on a Sunday to start off your vacation.
Mon., Mar 14---I fly into Tampa late in the evening. ‘Nuff said….
Tue., Mar 15---Day game at Hammond Stadium, the Minnesota Twins home field located in Ft. Myers, across town from the Red Sox Spring Training home. In Ft. Myers, the Twins are the Los Angeles Clippers to the Red Sox Lakers.
The high, thin cirrus clouds (you see Mr. Dimmick? I was paying attention in your science class) leads me to incorrectly assuming I don’t need sun block. It’s not until a view in the mirror a few hours later that I discover that my assumption is wrong.
Wed., Mar. 17---St. Patrick’s Day at City of Palms Park, spring home of the Red Sox. Green, shirts, green hats, green bases and lots of green being spent in the souvenir store. On the drive there we experience a little rain, but considering that I’ve left torrential rain in Boston, it’s no big deal. The weather clears by game time, however.
A war vet who’s suffered shrapnel wounds, severe brain trauma and PTSD throws out the ceremonial first pitch. This makes Kevin Youkilis’ complaining about a previous three-hour bus ride to a game that got rained out seem even more selfish.
Thur., Mar. 18---The day game is Lakeland, home of the Detroit Tigers. My recollection is that this is the first place I ever had a tuna sandwich at a ballpark.
The night game is at Tampa to see the Yankees at their home field. It’s chilly and rainy and since I haven’t brought a coat or a sweatshirt, the cheapest thing to buy in the souvenir shot is a Yankees sweatshirt with the team name and “NY” nicely embroidered on the left breast. This not only keeps me warm, but also gets Jim’s dander up. For both reasons, it’s clearly, worth the money. Anybody want to buy a Yankees sweatshirt?
Fri., Mar. 19---We get to see the Sox play the Pirates in Bradenton. Great seats location-wise behind home plate, but with little legroom, being in the middle of the row means that to get out you’ll have to squeeze by and inconvenience several people, mostly elderly. Thus it’s easier buying lots of stuff early, and then holding it in as long as you can.
The night game is in Clearwater where the Phillies take on the Orioles. This is definitely the nicest of all the new ballparks, and this year, the tiki bar in left field, which stays open after the game doesn’t have someone doing Jimmy Buffett cover tunes!! Before the game an old WWII era plane circles the ballpark and a couple of guys parachute onto the field. Best to make sure they’re ours before we start shooting.
Sat. Mar., 20---The first of three games at Dunedin, home of the Toronto Blue Jays. After what I later find out has been the coldest Florida weather in either 40 or 120 years, depending on which you live in, we have our warmest and sunniest day yet. A Blue Jays fan noted that the previous day was warmer in Toronto than in Dunedin (yeah, there are still no climate problems). Our seats are great (albeit, again with little legroom to squeeze by people in your row if you wish to go to the concession stand) on the third base line and I get the tan/burn that I usually get early on in my S.T. trip.
Tradition is an important part of baseball and the tradition of elderly people collapsing in cheap, easily broken chairs continues as we hear the sound of an elderly person’s chair break and many people crying “medic!”
Sun., Mar. 21---The day after getting a sunburn, there are torrential rains and thunder. We get to Dunedin but don’t even bother to spend money on parking and head to a local Irish pub to wait on word of whether or nor the game will be played. Since the Blue Jays are scheduled to play the Red Sox, there are many Bostonians drinking in this pub on a rainy day. As you can imagine, Red Sox fans…rain delay…Irish pub…it gets quite boisterous.
The game eventually gets called and we save $5-$10 on parking.
Mon., Mar. 22---We’re again at Dunedin for our last game of the trip. It is chilly and overcast to start the game but around the seventh inning, the sun breaks through and we enjoy the more normal weather of warmth and sunshine. Later in the day my plane descends below the clouds at Logan Airport and I once again experience the gray, cold and rainy weather of Boston
It’s good be home…well, sort of.
Posted by dmargarita at 1:16 PM
April 4, 2010
Savoury Lane Reminder
Hey Gang,
Just a reminder that I will be one of the two feature acts this Tuesday at Savouy Lane, in West Acton, Ma. Really, it's not as long a drive as you'd think. Take Rt. 2A to Rt. 110 and it's just off Tr. 110 at 251 Arlington Street. You can Google it. Hosted by Jake Kensinger & Ellen Schmidt, Savoury Lane is a cafe with food, beer and wine. The show starts at 6:30 and I will be the feature act, along with Randall Kromm. I expect to go on around 8:30 and do about 25 minutes. Yes, a $5 admission and then they pass the hat around and Randall and I can make a few bucks, so come on down!!
Posted by dmargarita at 3:36 PM