September 21, 2011
A New Sheen
Well, the event that much of America seemed to be waiting for is over. No, I’m not referring to “International Talk Like a Pirate Day” but the Charlie Sheen Roast on Comedy Central.
I haven’t seen this much hype for a TV show since we were waiting to find out “who shot J.R.” Ewing on the TV show Dallas. Kids, ask your parents.
You’ve got to hand it to Mr. Sheen…I can’t recall anyone managing to get themselves fired and turning it into getting a roast in his honor as a result.
“Congratulations, Bill. You’ve been fired for incompetence and now we’re going to give you a night in your honor.”
I suppose if Bill were fired for incompetence, there’d be plenty of ammunition for people to roast him with.
I saw the debut of Ashton Kutcher on Two and a Half Men and perhaps it wasn’t a bad idea for the producers of “Men” to keep the death of Sheen’s character, Charlie Harper, somewhat mysterious in case they want to bring him back at a later date, a la (spoiler alert) as was done with Bobby Ewing on Dallas. After actor Patrick Duffy, who played Bobby Ewing, left the show, they brought him back after a season, explaining that his departure and death was “all a dream.”
The show was then deservedly and mercilessly ridiculed. Still, if the new version of “Men” is to be judged by its first episode the producers of the show might want to consider taking a similar risk.
As for Kutcher’s debut, I’ll cut him some slack and hope he grows into the role before I make the obvious “Dude, Where’s My Talent?” joke.
I never watched Kutcher’s previous show That 70’s Show, so I had no idea if his comic timing was any good, though his “Men” debut is giving me some cause for concern.
As for the roast itself, it is a far cry from the days when Dean Martin would assemble some of the legends of show business of the day (and of all time) to roast one of the other legends of show business.
Oh, there was some funny stuff on the Sheen roast but I can’t imagine Jimmy Stewart uttering, okay...stammering some of the expletives that are uttered on a modern day roast.
“Wh-wh-wh-why, Bob Hope’s ju-ju-just an (expletive) who likes to (expletive) with his (expletive) and then (expletive).”
While a Dean Martin roast might include Stewart, Bob Hope, Frank Sinatra, Jack Benny and Johnny Carson, the Sheen roast included some people I’d never heard of. I understand that may just be cultural ignorance on my part.
Comedian Jeffrey Ross, a regular on the Comedy Central roasts and a master of the nasty barb, spent the evening dressed as Mohmmar Kadhaffi, whom ironically if found, could possibly up being literally roasted.
William Shatner, himself on the receiving end of a roast in the past, was on hand and was probably the closest thing to an icon on the dais. I realize the word “icon” can be sometimes a euphemism for someone who’s old and thus Captain Kirk received many a dart poking fun at his age and the body that his age has given him. He was a good sport about it and gave it back as well as he got it.
Perhaps the most unfortunate choice of roasters was former boxer/convicted rapist Mike Tyson. A few had the temerity to bust Tyson’s chops. It seemed like they might have been in genuine physical danger from Tyson, who did not take some of the insults well, for doing so. As for his roasting abilities, there’s a reason he became successful as a boxer and not a Shakespearean actor.
Seth McFarland, creator of Family Guy, served as the emcee for the roast and began the show by reading Sheen’s eulogy in advance. If indeed Sheen lapses back into his drug-induced mania and winds up going the way of John Belushi (kids, ask your parents), McFarland’s bit won’t seem quite so funny, in retrospect.
The death of Sheen’s character on “Men” seemed like a bit of revenge on the part of the producers and writers, who no doubt was made difficult during Sheen’s meltdown. However, it doesn’t seem like there any “winners” in this entire episode.
Oh, Two and a Half Men will conclude the episode with a second part next week. Fortunately, the Charlie Sheen roast is over.
Posted by dmargarita at 11:23 PM
September 6, 2011
The Big 5-0
Last week I passed a milestone (which is certainly more fun than passing a kidney stone) birthday, the Big 5-0 (thank you, thank you) on September 1st. Most people dread getting older but the option really isn’t any better, thus I figure it’s time to look into one of the plusses of turning 50…AARP.
Yes, upon reaching the half-century mark one is entitled to join the organization which provides a variety of benefits to people 50 years of age or older.
I’m not sure if I will join or not but their website currently allows people joining up now the opportunity to win a chance to meet Betty White, so that’s a definite incentive.
Among the benefits included are discounts at various restaurants. Since most of the ones listed I’ve never heard of or are not located near here, they are useless. However, Denny’s restaurant chain, while no longer here in Stoneham, can be found within driving distance, is an AARP benefit member. Like the others, they have certain restrictions, theirs being that “alcoholic beverages not included in the discount.” Fair enough I suppose, but then again I don’t recall ever being at a Denny’s that served alcohol. I’m sure they must exist or they wouldn’t bother adding this restriction.
The website (and presumably the magazine) offer columns with all sorts of advice, like “How To Be a Cougar.” They cite Madonna, Demi Moore and Susan Sarandon as well-known cougars. Curiously, they don’t mention Betty White. Oops…I didn’t mean to put that image in your head…or mine.
For the men there’s the important column, “6 must-know facts about ED and other performance issues in older men.” I will put that one off for some time, thank you.
There is also the heart-warming story about how 100-year-old Forrest Lunsway married Rose Pollard on his 100th birthday after waiting 15 years. She promised to marry him when he reached that age either hoping he’d never get there or she had the worst case of cold feet in history. Here’s hoping at age 90, Ms. Pollard-Lunsway’s circulation is good and she doesn’t literally have cold feet.
"The best thing about being married is just being comfortable together and knowing it is going to be from now until death do us part," says the bride, or as their doctors call it, “Friday.” Sorry, I couldn’t resist.
Perhaps the most difficult part was Mr. Lunsway asking her father for her hand in marriage. The two have been companions for 28 years and living together for some time. I’m assuming now that they’re actually married they can start having sexual relations…or not. I don’t even want to get into the article titled, “Not Your Grandma’s Condoms.”
The website contains a “Technology” section. The words “technology” and “seniors” are traditionally not words that most of us would associate with each other. Did you ever try and teach your grandfather how to change the VCR from flashing “12:00” back in the day? Still, this is a magazine for people 50+ and no doubt many Baby Boomers are quite tech savvy but I don’t think they’re quite ready for X-Box.
As my mind often does, it naturally wandered to music, a song parody to be precise. Thus, I have written this song parody about the organization, set to the tune of the 1970’s hit by The Village People, “YMCA.” Oh, yes I did!
Old man, now that you’ve turned fif-ty
Getting up all night to go pee
You have little reason to smile
Because pee-ing takes a while
(BAH, BAH, BAH, BAH)
It’s time to sign up for A-A-R-P
It’s time to sign up for A-A-R-P
You will find you can get some great deals
You’re entitled to early bird meals
You’ll have many things to endure
You might just get hooked on Ensure
You’ll lose some of manly powers
Call a doc if it last more than four hours
(BAH, BAH, BAH, BAH)
It’s time to sign up for A-A-R-P, A-A-R-P…
This is better with me acting out each letter as some do with YMCA.
Well, I need to do some cleaning up around here before I fall and break a hip.
Posted by dmargarita at 12:46 PM