DanMargarita.com

I haven’t seen this much hype for a TV show since we were waiting to find out “who shot J.R.” Ewing on the TV show Dallas. Kids, ask your parents.

You’ve got to hand it to Mr. Sheen…I can’t recall anyone managing to get themselves fired and turning it into getting a roast in his honor as a result.

“Congratulations, Bill. You’ve been fired for incompetence and now we’re going to give you a night in your honor.”

I suppose if Bill were fired for incompetence, there’d be plenty of ammunition for people to roast him with.

I saw the debut of Ashton Kutcher on Two and a Half Men and perhaps it wasn’t a bad idea for the producers of “Men” to keep the death of Sheen’s character, Charlie Harper, somewhat mysterious in case they want to bring him back at a later date, a la (spoiler alert) as was done with Bobby Ewing on Dallas. After actor Patrick Duffy, who played Bobby Ewing, left the show, they brought him back after a season, explaining that his departure and death was “all a dream.”

The show was then deservedly and mercilessly ridiculed. Still, if the new version of “Men” is to be judged by its first episode the producers of the show might want to consider taking a similar risk.

As for Kutcher’s debut, I’ll cut him some slack and hope he grows into the role before I make the obvious “Dude, Where’s My Talent?” joke.

I never watched Kutcher’s previous show That 70’s Show, so I had no idea if his comic timing was any good, though his “Men” debut is giving me some cause for concern.

As for the roast itself, it is a far cry from the days when Dean Martin would assemble some of the legends of show business of the day (and of all time) to roast one of the other legends of show business.

Oh, there was some funny stuff on the Sheen roast but I can’t imagine Jimmy Stewart uttering, okay...stammering some of the expletives that are uttered on a modern day roast.

“Wh-wh-wh-why, Bob Hope’s ju-ju-just an (expletive) who likes to (expletive) with his (expletive) and then (expletive).”

While a Dean Martin roast might include Stewart, Bob Hope, Frank Sinatra, Jack Benny and Johnny Carson, the Sheen roast included some people I’d never heard of. I understand that may just be cultural ignorance on my part.

Comedian Jeffrey Ross, a regular on the Comedy Central roasts and a master of the nasty barb, spent the evening dressed as Mohmmar Kadhaffi, whom ironically if found, could possibly up being literally roasted.

William Shatner, himself on the receiving end of a roast in the past, was on hand and was probably the closest thing to an icon on the dais. I realize the word “icon” can be sometimes a euphemism for someone who’s old and thus Captain Kirk received many a dart poking fun at his age and the body that his age has given him. He was a good sport about it and gave it back as well as he got it.

Perhaps the most unfortunate choice of roasters was former boxer/convicted rapist Mike Tyson. A few had the temerity to bust Tyson’s chops. It seemed like they might have been in genuine physical danger from Tyson, who did not take some of the insults well, for doing so. As for his roasting abilities, there’s a reason he became successful as a boxer and not a Shakespearean actor.

Seth McFarland, creator of Family Guy, served as the emcee for the roast and began the show by reading Sheen’s eulogy in advance. If indeed Sheen lapses back into his drug-induced mania and winds up going the way of John Belushi (kids, ask your parents), McFarland’s bit won’t seem quite so funny, in retrospect.

The death of Sheen’s character on “Men” seemed like a bit of revenge on the part of the producers and writers, who no doubt was made difficult during Sheen’s meltdown. However, it doesn’t seem like there any “winners” in this entire episode.

Oh, Two and a Half Men will conclude the episode with a second part next week. Fortunately, the Charlie Sheen roast is over.