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October 23, 2011
Occupy Sesame Street
There’s something happening here, but what it is ain’t exactly clear. All over the country people fed up with corporate greed and the influence of money in politics have taken a stand with the “Occupy Wall Street” movement. Yet, there’s another street where a stand needs to be taken…Sesame Street.
This colorful street represents a cross section of Muppet-Americans. However, in these tense economic times, we have pitted Muppet against Muppet. Class warfare at its best or should I say worst, my friends.
Thus, it wouldn’t surprise me if the anger of the “have-nots” from OWS transfers to the “have-nots”of Sesame Street, who would then be trying to hold the “haves” of Sesame Street held accountable for their part in bringing down the economy.
The only question is how can we know exactly who on Sesame Street are the “haves” and who are the “have-nots”?
Let’s take a look at some of the characters from “the Street” and see if we can determine this riveting question. Some are easy to spot while others a bit murkier (I don’t have kids so, thank you Wikipedia).
Count von Count---Spends his days, or should I say, nights, counting his millions. I mean, he wears a cape for heaven’s sake. He comes from royalty and has blue blood (but will drink red blood).
Ernie---Best described as a “free spirit” and a “trickster,” his signature song is “Rubber Duckie.” One wouldn’t be surprised to see Ernie at an OWS protest, wearing a bandana and playing a guitar.
Bert---Ernie’s best friend, he collects paper clips and is fascinated by pigeons. Unlike Ernie, he is tense and easily upset. There have been allegations that the two are in a same-sex relationship. If this is true, Ernie would be a Log Cabin Republican. They do say that opposites attract.
Cookie Monster---This creature is clearly a religious zealot. He single-mindedly focuses one thing and one thing only, and that would be the hoarding of cookies. Yes, he’s cornered the cookie market and in the opinion of the OSS movement, ought to be subject to an anti-trust investigation. Clearly, he’s a Tea Party member and it has been noted that in this country one percent of the monsters own 99 percent of the cookies.
Grover----Most recently seen on the Internet being restrained by members of the NYPD, Grover is described as a “valiant, caring monster.” That is why he undoubtedly had to be restrained by the NYPD since he was trying to assist OSS members who had been pepper sprayed. He’s a definite OSS member.
Oscar the Grouch---Clearly, he’s the Muppet who more than any other has fallen on hard times. Bad stock market investments and bundled derivatives have left this once pillar of society who has lost everything, living in a garbage can. He’s not part of the OSS movement, he was living there already.
Rosita---The first bilingual Muppet on Sesame Street, clearly she has come to the U.S. to take American Muppet jobs. She is what the OSS movement is fighting for, in part.
Elmo---He is only three and a half years old, demonstrating how the OSS movement is trying to indoctrinate the young ones.
Kermit the Frog---Nobody ever seems to have wondered about his bizarre relationship with Miss Piggy. Let’s face facts here. She’s a pig. I don’t mean she sleeps around, although she may, for all we know but she is literally a pig. This type of inter-species breeding seems fit for The Island of Doctor Moreau.
Big Bird---An 8’ 2” yellow bird, he is considered naïve and had the mentality of a six-year-old child. That’s a human child, and not a Big Bird child.
Countess von Backwards---She counts everything backward, so I’m not exactly sure where she fits on the political scale.
Roosevelt Franklin---Removed from the show because "he was thought by some to be a negative cultural stereotype." This is clearly another move by the “haves” to prevent voter turnout in Mr. Franklin’s neighborhood. He would fit right in at an OSS rally.
Aloysius Snuffleupagus---He was Big Bird’s imaginary friend until 1985 when he was revealed to the adult cast. What, did the writers go on strike that week? That’s the best they could come up with?
Anyway, it is tine for America to take back out streets…even if they’re imaginary.
Posted by dmargarita at October 23, 2011 2:17 PM